Hi, I'm Perfect.

I woke up late for work again today; it was already 8:00 by the time I got into the car to leave this morning. I can’t believe that Laine let me sleep in that long, she normally never sleeps past 6:00 so if my alarm fails she’ll make sure I’m up. But both the alarm and Laine weren’t working right this morning. Laine even let me leave her with Erik, which is odd considering morning times are her neediest so on my occasional late days it’s usually very hard for me to leave the house without her, dropping her at daycare is entirely different than leaving her with Erik. She definitely knows the difference. Miss Danielle will play with her and feed her and give her hugs and kisses and tell her how amazing she is twenty times before I’m out the door and Daddy just turns on the TV and snuggles down with her until she’s so fed up at doing nothing that she starts pitching a fit, then he gets up and gets dressed, then calls me for ”where do you keep her clothes?” and “do I need to give them her diaper bag?” and “do I need to feed her?” It’s not like we just got her. We’ve been parents for two years now. I haven’t changed her room or what drawer her clothes go in, or the daycare she goes to. I have kept everything exactly the same for exactly the reason of Erik having to do anything. That man… that poor man. He gets so lost! What would he do without me? He’d starve for one thing. And there is no telling how he’d react to find the dishwasher, washing machine and dryer don’t run on fairy dust and smiles. And Laine, poor girl would be dragging 90 pound diaper behind her, Erik can’t smell shit. Literally. Guess I can’t be running off with Bruce Willis anytime soon.

So I did get started on those dolls this weekend. I’ve made three of them so far. One for Nicolette and one for Laine, and I started making one pair for the twins. I can’t tell you how proud I was getting of myself with the twin dolls; I had them so perfect; exactly the same but exactly opposite. One was pink and one purple; but Laine was in my arms while I was sewing and she turned some knob on the machine and now it’s all kinds of messed up. One of the dolls had to be completely scrapped, the pink one and I know it’s my own fault for not checking the stitching at the back so I can’t blame Laine for it but I do know not to let her sit facing the machine anymore. I need my mom to come help me figure out how to fix the machine. (MOM, HELP!)

I was able to save the face and hair from the pink doll and I’ve started piecing a new one together, they aren’t going to be as exactly opposite as I’d like anymore but hopefully they’ll be enough alike/different to suit the twins.

I finished making Nicolette’s doll right after I got a delivery from UPS on Friday night. You see that book there in that picture? That’s the book I was saying I wanted. The one I couldn’t find and really wanted. Colleen totally got it for me. Yeah she did. That’s my person, she did that. I love her so much, probably more than any of you love your people. My person’s awesome. I finished Nic’s doll right after I opened the book, so she can know that doll was put together with a huge smile and a lot of love and gratitude. It’s my very first doll so of course there are imperfections but I can’t be expected to be perfect he first time right? Or second or ninth, maybe that’ll be my thing, imperfection, I’m perfect at it!

Each doll I’ve made and plan to make is going to be made with love, and with each particular girl in mind. You can almost bet on the fact that a prayer will be stitched into each doll for each girl.

I finished Laine’s doll Saturday morning right before we left to go to Jacob’s basketball game. Laine decided on Babette for her dolls name. We went through a lengthy list of names, to see what Laine could say and what she couldn’t, but since doing that she’s called her BahBeh so Babette it is. (For those of you, who don’t know, I got that name from Beauty and the Beast; Babette is the French maid/feather duster). I think Laine likes the doll, but it’s not her favorite thing by far, she likes to give it kisses and put it to sleep and BahBeh is Baby sometimes “Baby go night night, Baby eat bites, Baby HUG!” But when she’d not playing mommy then Baby is back to BahBeh.

On an updateier note, Erik was home all weekend. Not home working but actually home, he watched Laine for all of Saturday morning so I could get my craft on and he went with us to Jo-Ann fabrics and to Target and he didn’t complain once. He was a great husband and father this weekend; I have no complaints about him today. But then everything is usually wonderful when he’s home. There are no misunderstandings because we are face to face and not over the phone and that can go a long way for a relationship. Ours anyway. It was nice to be able to go and entire two days without wondering where Erik is and if he’s okay. My hyper-agitated nerves finally got a break.

Something that Erik does that I don’t normally share with you guys is, when we are at home, sitting around, making lunch, cleaning up: periodically he’ll stop what he’s doing come to me and hold me (yeah, sometimes I get annoyed because I’m bent over getting clothes out of the dryer, or I’ve got an arm full of towels and I’m half way up the stairs) he doesn’t care what I’m doing, he’ll hold me and the armful of toys and tell me he loves me and that he’s so lucky to have me. And if it’s laundry I’m doing he thanks me for doing it. And I love it. I love it so much when he does that. It’s exactly my love language. Well it would be exactly my love language if he’d take that laundry and put it away himself but I take what I can get, you know? I should probably start sharing the good things Erik does with you guys on here, it seems all I do is complain, it makes it look like I’m unhappy with him when I’m really not. I just don’t get the blogging bug unless I’m upset, sucks for you guys because all you get are rants and srsly’s so I’m going to try to be a bit more positive, at least when it comes to Erik. I just found out a couple of people I didn’t know about read my stuff, and they know Erik, can’t have them looking at him funny at church, not that he’d give two hoots but I’d care. So hey, don’t look at him funny okay?
Side note: A Facebook status update made me first laugh then think about Erik and the phone situation, it’s what gave me my new let it go mindset.
“Is the glass half full or is the glass half empty? We know there is a glass. We know there is liquid in this glass. The amount of liquid rests at the halfway mark. This liquid must be desirable or we wouldn't be arguing if the glass was "half empty" or "half full". There is a desirable liquid in a glass. Drink it THEN GET A DAMN REFILL!”