Frank Turner

Love is Free and Life is Cheap ~and as long as I have me a place to sleep, clothes on my back and food to eat, I couldn't ask for anything more.

Friday, April 30

35 Years Later

Today marks the official date given to the end of the Vietnam War. Some news groups are posting photos to help us remember. I thought I’d do my part as well. It took me a while but here are some that moved me. I don't know what it is about this war that always captured my interest but I can't seem to learn enough about it, read enough about it but when I see these images it reminds me that I know nothing about war and I can admit that I never want to learn the honest truths of it. Thank God we have our hero's to learn for us.

U.S. military action in Vietnam was a piece in the global Cold War struggle. After Vietnamese nationalists overthrew French colonialists in the 1950s, the country was divided between the Communist north and the anti-Communist south. In the ensuing conflict, Washington backed the south, fearing that a Communist takeover could cascade through Southeast Asia. The first U.S. forces engaged in the conflict in secret, by way of Cambodia. As the civil war intensified in the 1960s, the United States expanded its operations in the region, deploying some 3 million American troops over time, but U.S. forces struggled to gain ground as they fought in difficult and unfamiliar terrain against extremely capable guerrilla fighters. As the war dragged on and casualties mounted, opposition to the war exploded. By the time American forces withdrew in 1975 and Saigon fell to Ho Chi Minh's Communists, 58,000 Americans and between 1 million and 2 million Vietnamese had died. It was the longest war in U.S. history and the most unpopular American war of the 20th century, but then again what war is popular? In this 1965 photo, paratroopers cross a river in the rain near Ben Cat, in the south.
June 11, 1963, Buddhist monk Quang Duc burns himself to death at a busy Saigon intersection to protest persecution of Buddhists. An unidentified U.S. Army soldier sports the slogan "War Is Hell" on his helmet in Vietnam on June 18, 1965.
U.S. Marines emerge from their muddy foxholes at sunrise after a third night of attacks by North Vietnamese troops on Sept. 21, 1966.
The body of an American paratrooper killed in action near the Cambodian border is raised to an evacuation helicopter in Vietnam in 1966. Women and children crouch in a muddy canal as they take cover from intense Viet Cong fire at Bao Trai, about 20 miles west of Saigon on Jan. 1, 1966.
A soldier of the U.S. Seventh Marines carries a puppy in his pocket after rescuing it during an operation southwest of Da Nang in Vietnam on Jan. 22, 1968.
South Vietnamese Gen. Nguyen Ngoc Loan, chief of the national police, shoots suspected Viet Cong officer Nguyen Van Lem, also known as Bay Lop, on a Saigon street on Feb. 1, 1968. U.S. Army medic James E. Callahan of Pittsfield, Mass., A South Vietnamese woman mourns over the body of her husband, found with 47 others in a mass grave near Hue in April 1969. Lt. Col. Robert L. Stirm is greeted by his family at Travis Air Force Base in Fairfield, Calif., on March 17, 1973, after returning home from Vietnam, where he had spent five years as a prisoner of war. This image came to symbolize the end of U.S. involvement in the war for many. U.S. Navy personnel aboard the USS Blue Ridge push a helicopter into the sea off the coast of Vietnam in order to make room for more evacuation flights from Saigon on April 29, 1975.

TGI... wtF

1) Arnold and a doll. This man is the governor of a state now. Who let that happen?
2) Cabbages and Condoms Restaurant… I wish I could make this stuff up.
3, 4) How do you think they say WTF is Oslo, Norway… I don’t think they do at all.... Here’s another, what do they call this, you think? Rapture gridlock? 5) What do you think he jams to? What's his groove?6) It is against Swiss law to dispose of a large number of urns without a commercial licence.

7) The TITANIC theme MY HEART WILL GO ON has been named the best film song of all time. – Oh come on! The best? What about Danger Zone, Footloose, Time of My Life, Summer Nights or even Circle of Life. Jeez!

Thursday, April 29

Typical Night

Last night I got home at 6:00 with Laine, She was in a playful curious mood so I took her outside to run around the front yard while we waited on Erik to come home. At one point a dog barked frightening the birds in the tree and she pointed to one and said “Bur?” then flapped her arms. It was probably the cutest thing she’s ever done, and that’s a serious statement. I was breathless from the flood of adorableness I was drowning in. Erik got home right as we were going back inside, I tried to get Laine to show him where the birds were but there weren’t any out anymore. Erik was only stopping by to drop off the stroller to clear up room in his car so that he could leave right away again to go and pick up our new microwave that we ordered two weeks ago. While he was gone I heated up some gumbo for Laine’s dinner and took her for a quick stroll down the street and back up again. Laine had a great appetite last night; she ate all of her gumbo and rice, two huge handfuls of pineapple pieces and one sugar cookie and still wanted more. So I gave her a hot dog to gnaw on while I puttered around the kitchen. While she was occupied I measured out everything I need for cookies so that once she was asleep I could mix them up really quickly and get the batter chilling for tonight. I’d like to make a few with her hand prints in them if I can. Just to see what it would look like. Also I have orange and blackberry fillings to test out with my cookies as glazes. My person better be prepared for the taste test session later.
Before Erik got back I scrubbed out our microwave so that when it goes to the attic it’ll be nice and clean for whoever gets it next. Once he got home again he needed help carrying it inside and that totally racked up enough points to close out my manual labor account for the week. After I caught my breath Erik and I went outside with Laine and met up with our neighbors across the street, Amanda and Dave with their little boy Rivers. They were very interested in each other, Laine and Rivers, they were also very interested to find out that they both had belly buttons; it is defiantly a moment to remember to tell them about whenever they are older.
After we came back inside Erik finished off the rest of the gumbo and I got Laine settled down on the couch with me to watch American Idol but then I found out that it was Wednesday and not Tuesday so I turned it off. Erik had to leave again to head out to Iway to start up their servers, apparently their power had gone out and now it was back on but the servers needed to be manually turned on. I really hate that company, they take advantage of Archer in a way that no other company does. They call Erik at night on weekends and during holidays, even during our dad gum honeymoon. I really don’t like Iway.
After Erik left I got Laine to sleep around 8:15. I took myself upstairs and checked my emails and facebook account and then ran back downstairs to make the cookie batter then back upstairs to watch Tuesdays AI episode. I totally fell in love with Lee Dewyze, for serious. Once that was over I watched ANTM and was not at all impressed with the girls this season. I tried to get into Iron Chef and failed so I just gave up and went to sleep. Erik was there next to me this morning but I never heard him come home. However the coke can next to the bed still had condensation on it so it couldn’t have been too much before 5:00. Poor guy.

Monday, April 26

Musical Musings

I'm not just a fan of music. I’m a devoted follower of it. I feel weird, almost lost without it on at least in the background during my day. The TV is a substitute sometimes but generally I need music. Any kind will do sometimes but mostly I like to listen to what I like and I like music, not noise.
I have three places I listen to music. First is at work, I try to keep music on that will motivate me to move, to do something productive. It doesn’t always work but I at least put forth that effort. The music I listen to at the office used to have to be something that other people wouldn’t mind hearing when they come in the front door of our building since that’s where my desk is, but I recently invested in some headphones.
The second place I can listen to music is at home, specifically in the kitchen. I have a small CD player that sits next to the stove; I keep it there so that I have something to sing along to for Laine, so she won’t get bored watching me cook dinner or clean up. We tend to stay close to the classic rock station, mostly because I know all the words to most all the songs, new music I can’t sing along to which means that Laine gets bored with it fast. If mommy isn’t making a fool of herself I don’t think she considers it worth her time. The last place I listen to music is all my own. In my car I can experiment with changing my mood, where I can listen to it as loud or soft as I want, where I can sing in my own voice and not the goofy one I use for Laine. For the two hours a day that I am alone in my car I finally get to have my music. At my volume. Here is where Commandermander the Music Militant comes out. I typically burn a new CD every day, my moods and attitudes change so quickly that usually what I totally wanted to hear yesterday is totally giving me a headache today. I’ve always got CD’s tossed all over my car, and they don’t normally have labels, just a date. It’s fun sometimes to pick up a random CD to see what I was feeling January 8th of last year. I have a monkey head CD case that I toss some of these in and it’s like my own little Price is Right game every time I reach in. You don’t know what you’ll get, could be a can of green beans or it could be a car, you know? The other day I reached in and pulled a CD out of my monkey head and it was out of one of the middle sleeves and it had been doubled with another unlabeled CD and they stuck together a little so I knew it was old. The first song was a happy one, one that made me want to hit the repeat button but I didn’t, I let it play through, the second song was more of a bouncy one, I bounced and flounced where it was appropriate, and then the next song came on and it was THAT song. The one song that works in that moment, no other song is appropriate. It’s the song I needed to hear but didn’t know I was waiting on. It’s the up lifter, the joy bringer, it was what I needed at that exact moment, and I got that feeling in my chest, that bursting from the inside feeling that makes me need to sing, because if I don’t sing I‘ll blow up, literally implode in on myself and die. It’s intense. And every time that happens to me is different, this time it started out normal enough, almost background noise then the beat started to pull me in, the words don’t mean anything but I still want to sing them, the beat isn’t much but still I want to tap my toes, the rhythm isn’t special but I want to dance. I can feel the bass in my chest the drums in my head and the cry of the guitar in my heart so fiercely that pulling the car over and spinning wildly in the median sounds like a brilliant idea.

Friday, April 23

Nose Picking Goodness

Hey Laine are you still awake back there...

Gasp! What are you doing???

Get that finger out of your nose!!

Yeah you think your funny huh?

Please don't eat that, please don't eat that...

Thursday, April 22

...

I was absolutely totally 100% floored by my sister last night; three times before 7:00 and innumerable times before 9:00. I was floored and flabbergasted and stunned, staggered, amazed and dumbfounded. This girl, I swear makes me speechless so often that around her my dad might actually get a few minutes peace from my constant jibber jabber and seriously, if I weren’t afraid she’d make his head go explody bomb I’d keep her around on my visits to my parents house.
I got a message via Facebook yesterday telling me that (and here’s #1) “We have to do this thing where we bring food for that guy shakesphere's birthday” And I’m not kidding you, that’s what she actually wrote me. That guy. Shakesphere.
I’m going to ignore for now how she butchered his name, because that could have been a simple typo. However what I cannot ignore is “that guy”. Shakespeare is not a “that guy” kind of guy. He could arguably be called the godfather of modern literature, without him we wouldn’t have the word eyeball, before him no one had heard the word obscene, he even coined the phrase ”household words” HE IS NOT THAT GUY! For cripes sake.
So of course I fumed and I prayed that one day she would get a teacher like Mr. Orteza that would teach her things that were actually important, like who is a “that guy” and who isn’t. As of right now the Friendswood School District is in the midst of the most epic FAIL of all time.
I told Kate that I would be at her house at 7:00 and that I needed her to go and buy all the stuff to make the cake balls, to go ahead and bake the cake, that I would be there later to help her form the balls and to show her how to dip and decorate them. To that I recieved special moment #2. She texted me back “I need to bake a cake for this?”

… I don’t know Kate, they are cake balls so it could be safe to assume there is cake in them. However it could also be a funny little joke I like to play on people, I call them cake balls but really they are made from pickled pigs feet and cauliflower.
So Instead of texting her back, because I knew I’d say something like that and she wouldn’t get the insult since it’s impossible to show inflection in a text message I called her. And what did I hear? My moment #3 “Hello? Oh, hi! (1…2…) OMG I have got to tell you something!...” BEEEEP. Who does that anymore??? Kate. Kate Rosendahl does that. And who falls for it?? I DO.
After that things just went downhill. Slalom style. As we waited for the cake balls to harden up in the freezer I went to check on the American Idol results and found that they were doing their AIDS program that they do every year. Here is when moments #4 to infinity came out to play. I don’t have the words or the time to adequately paint the picture of the train wreck that was Kate last night, but if I were to try to punch it all down into a nut shell this would be it. We were watching a short video about a young girl with HIV. She was around eight years old and she weighed no more than an average one year old. You could see her skull perfectly through her skin, every rib was visible, her stomach was huge and distended the poor thing was wasting away and what Kate thought to say was “Eww, that’s so gross. You know those kids would feel so much better if they just brushed their teeth.”
And there you have it. I packed up my daughter and left the house.

Monday, April 19

On Housework

I have been doing housework non stop for about eight years. And I’ll keep doing it for about 50 more years I’m sure and I’ll keep complaining about it for just as long too. Dishes and dusting and vacuuming and moping and icky crap that I hate, like laundry. I hate laundry. Laundry is a never ending job. It is the job that never ends. It goes on and on my friends. I started doing it not knowing what it was and I’ll continue doing it forever just because… It is the job that never ends. I swear one day soon all of Erik and my clothing will be thrown out and we are going to become nudists. Because seriously I hate laundry. And one day, One Day, I will stop doing it.

On Work

Erik has been working so hard for us lately. Well, he always works hard, but usually it involves him working late into the night, but lately he’s been coming home and just being with us, no work, no computer, just being with us. It’s been Heaven having him around. And I don’t just mean this weekend when he took care of Laine for me while I slept for three days, I mean it’s been Heaven having him home in time for us all to walk to the park, for him to be there when dinner comes out of the oven and to be there to eat a hot meal with us. He’s been around for bedtime more in the last month than he has been all of Laine's life, it’s been amazing.
My work has gotten a little more complicated in the past few months. It’s still the same job, just a lot more of it. This makes me stress out sometimes. And a stressful Amanda is a dyslexic Amanda. Which is amazing when the whole point of my job is to be precise.

On Cuddling

I don’t do enough of it with Erik, and I really should. I cuddle constantly with Laine. She’s the world’s best cuddling kid. She gives sweet hugs and kisses and she burrows into my neck in the way that you only see in movies that make you cry. At night she holds me as tight as I hold her and she doesn’t need me to hold her to put her to sleep but it’s almost like she knows I need to hold her to put me to sleep. Erik deserves a cuddle or two now and then, but Laine has become something of a Momma’s girl in the past few days. I feel bad that she doesn’t reach for him as much as she used to. But then again I’m almost giddy over the fact that she reaches for me more. As much as it’s not a contest I still feel like a winner when she holds her arms out to me. This past week I’ve been reaching for her and Erik both more. When I get sick I like to have extra cuddles and when Erik is watching TV at night he likes to bug me, so it evens out. I get to hug on him and he gets to make my head jostle with his chuckles.

On Growing

Laine is getting taller and thinner. I knew she would but since I’m around her all the time I thought that I’d have to look back at photo’s to see the change, but I see it everyday. Her feet are getting bigger and her face is losing that chunk I love so much; so are her thighs, she’s down to one roll on her thighs now, it’s so sad. And she’s already gotten her first hair cut. I think it makes her look like Maria from The Sound of Music, which is so totally adorable, but way too much little kid and not enough baby.

On Energy

This is something that really ties into being sick. My energy level is almost negative. I have slept for three days and I still feel like I’ve run a marathon every time I try to sit up strait. After I eat a meal I feel like I’ve just finished a competitive hot dog eating contest and I want to barf it up so bad just so that I can feel like I’ve not taken so much in. even if I’ve only just drank a glass of milk, it’s the same feeling no matter what. And the headaches are getting bad at night; one woke me up from a dead sleep on Sunday morning around 1:00, which was awesome. (Well it kind of was; I got to finally see Under the Tuscan Sun). But during the day I zone out a lot. I catch myself staring into space a lot, which is fine when I’m sick and lying in bed or on the couch, but when I’m at work it is not fine. Es no bueno mucho.
I haven’t gone to see either of my grandparents in a long time and I need to. I’d also like to take to go and see Levi and Sydney’s new home. But it feels like an ordeal just to drive the couple of blocks to mom’s house, or the half blocks it takes to drive to my person’s. The energy it takes to drive, to pack up a kid, to worry about wet diapers and empty bellies, it takes just enough out of me to always to decide to stay home instead. And that’s crap.

On Sickness

Since December Laine and I have been playing ping pong with random flu-like symptoms. She’ll get a runny nose and I’ll get a sore throat. She’ll get a fever and I’ll get a cough. We take turns at being ill and being well. For almost 5 months it seems that there is a constant cloud of sickness over out house. After Christmas I went to the doctor, for the first time in years (not counting gyno) and was told it was the flu. It made me a little angry to hear that for the first time I felt myself to be so sick that I needed professional help and it was just the flu. And I’ve been feeling that way a lot with Laine too. I keep thinking she’s getting a cold or flu or sore throat and every single time it turns out to be an ear infection. She’s been on antibiotics four times in the last 15 months. That’s scary. I’ve been on antibiotics once in 5 years. I’m not sure what exactly we are supposed to do. I can’t take her out of daycare even though I know it’s a cesspool of germy goodness. I can’t stop going to work where it seems no one washes their hands after using the restroom and the water smells like poop anyway. I’d love to be able to wall me and Laine up in our house, leaving only for the park and sno-cones but that is just plain silly. A really great idea though. I found out on Friday that I’m allergic to outside. I always told you people that fresh air burns my eyes, but everyone just laughs. Well here you go. It’s an allergy. So, yeah… harrumph.
I’ve spent a lot of time this past week on my couch. Just sitting and listening to the sounds of my house. And watching dust dance in the sunlight from the windows. And chasing honey bees with my stink eye until they finally land near me and I smoosh them with Laine’s Are You My Mother? book. And Laine has been so grumpy at night. Crying inconsolably for hours until I breakdown and make her a bottle and she finally passes out. I’m afraid that my viral infection has passed onto her. I’ve been trying to be so careful around her, I’ve limited my kisses to almost none and I haven’t let her eat from my fork and I’ve been sleeping most of the weekend so she should be fine but she’s not, she’s coughing and congested and it kills me to think I might be giving this to her.

Monday, April 5

Laine at the Park

Laine really is a fearless little person. There is nothing she won't try or attempt. She's amazing!