On Sickness

Since December Laine and I have been playing ping pong with random flu-like symptoms. She’ll get a runny nose and I’ll get a sore throat. She’ll get a fever and I’ll get a cough. We take turns at being ill and being well. For almost 5 months it seems that there is a constant cloud of sickness over out house. After Christmas I went to the doctor, for the first time in years (not counting gyno) and was told it was the flu. It made me a little angry to hear that for the first time I felt myself to be so sick that I needed professional help and it was just the flu. And I’ve been feeling that way a lot with Laine too. I keep thinking she’s getting a cold or flu or sore throat and every single time it turns out to be an ear infection. She’s been on antibiotics four times in the last 15 months. That’s scary. I’ve been on antibiotics once in 5 years. I’m not sure what exactly we are supposed to do. I can’t take her out of daycare even though I know it’s a cesspool of germy goodness. I can’t stop going to work where it seems no one washes their hands after using the restroom and the water smells like poop anyway. I’d love to be able to wall me and Laine up in our house, leaving only for the park and sno-cones but that is just plain silly. A really great idea though. I found out on Friday that I’m allergic to outside. I always told you people that fresh air burns my eyes, but everyone just laughs. Well here you go. It’s an allergy. So, yeah… harrumph.
I’ve spent a lot of time this past week on my couch. Just sitting and listening to the sounds of my house. And watching dust dance in the sunlight from the windows. And chasing honey bees with my stink eye until they finally land near me and I smoosh them with Laine’s Are You My Mother? book. And Laine has been so grumpy at night. Crying inconsolably for hours until I breakdown and make her a bottle and she finally passes out. I’m afraid that my viral infection has passed onto her. I’ve been trying to be so careful around her, I’ve limited my kisses to almost none and I haven’t let her eat from my fork and I’ve been sleeping most of the weekend so she should be fine but she’s not, she’s coughing and congested and it kills me to think I might be giving this to her.