Weeks and Weekends and Nights and Days

It’s been a little too long since my last update; my sister sent me an email telling me I was killing her with the lack of news. It’s nice to know someone reads my posts besides the folks I force.
So here we go, two weekends ago Erik and Laine and I went out to visit Levi and Sydney for a relaxing weekend at the lake.
Once we got there we found Mom and Dad and Brandon and his family too, it was exactly what we needed. We had good food and good company and even though we slept on the floor, I got really good sleep and my back didn’t even hurt in the morning. Laine got to play with a friend for two days and I was so surprised that she actually played nice. Or at least she played not mean. Laine would flip out every time Addison got close to her blanket or tried to open a cabinet. It seems that kitchen cabinets are no-no’s for everyone but Laine. She’s so spoiled it’s ridiculous. Before we left we were able to take a family picture by the water, it’s not the best picture of us but we all look happy, which makes it a good picture. I loved our visit to Levi’s house; we need to do it again very soon. When we got back into town we went to Erik’s parent’s house for a bbq. We ended up not eating until almost 8:00 and I’d had more than a few drinks so Erik and I decided to spend the night, I woke up a tad hung over but being able to swim first thing in the morning helped out a lot. After we left the Rosendahl’s we headed over to the Schmale’s house to swim with mom and dad, the Whites and the Tidwell’s. Mom dunked Laine under the water. She’s blow in her face really hard to get Laine to hold her breath then she just dunked her. I just about had a heart attack. It was an intense moment of letting go for me. So bring on cars and boys and college, I’ve got this parenting thing down. Ha! The week went by easily enough at first. Monday Laine helped me clean the house a bit, she is fascinated with cleaning the floors, give her a mop or broom and she’s happy for an hour easy. I showed her how to use a dust pan and she treated it like her most favorite Christmas gift ever, carrying it around with her the whole time I was making dinner. Tuesday I went to Mom’s house to visit with Danny and Damone before Damone was scheduled for her surgery. All went well with that by the way. Wednesday when I picked her up from daycare she felt a bit warm to me and sure enough she had a fever, I gave her some Tylenol while we were out to dinner with Mom and dad and the Hendrix’s but by Thursday morning her fever was up to 104. I had to stay home with her for Thursday and Friday and basically just watch her sleep. She had a sore throat which turned into a viral infection so she was on some heavy duty meds for a while, and it seems to really knock her out. Friday she was only awake for about three hour’s total, she wasn’t even waking up when I’d change her diapers. I’d give her water and Pedialite when she would wake up but I was lucky to get any food down her at all, she only wanted bottles. Poor kiddo was miserable. Saturday was a little better, she ate some rice cereal and some cheese and seemed happy for a while, she’d play and talk to us but when she looked at you her eyes were so glazed over she looked like a zombie. Finally on Sunday her fever truly broke, after three days at 103ish I know she was ready for the cool down. I can’t say it was all bad though, she got to take a lot of baths, and she seemed to enjoy those. By Monday I felt that it was okay to visit Damone so we went to see her for a little while. We did Christmas with them as we havn't really had the time this year to get together since last year. Laine got a new favorite blanket she carries around with her everywhere and sleeps with at night. We are going to try to make it over there as often as we can while Damone is healing. It’s got to suck after a while not being able to go anywhere so while she’s jailed we’ll be making the effort to make it fun. Or at least not not fun. While we were visiting the other day Laine got her first popsicle, I'm not sure if she kew what to make of it but we'll try again another time.On a side note Laine has been having some seriously tantrum episodes lately. I know that they aren’t full blown tantrums and I still have some horrific things to look forward to, but since these are her first real moments of attitude I’m having an adjustment period where I can almost do nothing but laugh and I know that isn’t the best way to handle it, it’s probably the worst way, I almost feel like I’m encouraging the behavior when I laugh, but then again she gets really mad at me when I laugh at her crying so maybe I’m not encouraging, whatever. As long as she isn’t mentally scarred or thinks I don’t love her she can toss as much attitude my way that she wants, I’m bigger than her I can take it.
Her first major meltdown was on Saturday, it was her first day back on her feet since she’d gotten sick, so I was pretty much letting her have her way with whatever she wanted. I went to the fridge to get something and she pointed to the yogurt like she wanted it, as I grabbed for one to show her to ask if that’s the one she wanted she got distracted by the diet coke cans (look a pretty castle) and I couldn’t get her to pay attention to me after that, she was mesmerized so I pulled her away and shut the door, and oh man the tears just poured, but the hilarious thing was that after about five seconds of hard heaving tears she stopped, peeked out behind her fists to make sure I was watching and then started crying again. She did it about three times before I had to walk out of the kitchen because one, we aren’t playing that game, and two, I almost ruptured a kidney holding in my laughter. I wonder where she learned that. All kids know that trick, crying gets me stuff, but what is it in their little short lives that have taught them how to manipulate others, I can’t for the life of me believe that she was deliberately trying to trick me, I think it was more of a test, to see if it really does work, and what was hilarious to me is that she probably had no idea that I already knew that trick. How disappointing it must have been to find out mommy is the master, my kung fu is better than her kung fu.
The second episode was last night. I got home a little early so that I could get Laine fed and bathed before we went out to eat for Kate’s birthday with Erik’s family. I fed her the dog out of the corndog and some goldfish. All Laine’s life she has been really good about taking baby bites and one at a time. But last night she was not. I mean hand over fist she was stuffing those cheeks to max capacity. So when it got to the point that she literally could not close her mouth any more I told her no, chew what you have first, drink some water and I’ll give you more. She the sat down on the floor and started screaming while pointing at the goldfish bag. I mean. This was a serious meltdown. Huge tears, red splotchy face, she was pissed! I could not contain the laughter, it was such an unexpected reaction that I really just sat there and stared at her for a few minutes until she started heaving in her breaths, she was really seriously crying with full blown rage. She stood up and stomped her feet, she was yelling at me. Yelling. At me. It was so insane, my mind was blown. Who was this little devil child freaking out on me? I don’t even want to know what she was thinking but I’m betting it was along the lines of baby profanity. Finally I reached into the bag to get a gold fish about and as soon as my hand was inside the bag she stopped crying and started chewing. So I took my time rooting around in the bag until she swallowed and then handed her one fish. She hit my hand! Batted the one goldfish away and screamed MORE! What the heck!?!? So we did this a few times, she’d stuff her face I’d make her cry then she’s stuff her face again. And the whole time my jaw is on the floor in shock. It was time to leave for the restaurant after while so the cycle finally stopped but I’m fairly certain those goldfish are getting thrown in the trash first thing when I get home today.

Where's Your Nose?

Th1rteen R3asons Why

Yesterday I bought a People magazine on my way into work. Work has been especially slow of late and I’m having a difficult time filling my hours during the day, there are only so many interesting sites on the internet, I can only make my TGIwtF posts so far in advance, and I’ve played every single game on facebook and yahoo already. So the Twilight Special Edition of People Magazine was my newest time taker upper idea. I never realized how much I really did not like that movie and all the hype surrounding it until I sat for thirty minutes reading and rereading the article anbout the sixteen different looks of Robert Pattinson, or the one about Kristen Stewart and her love of the art of acting and how Dakota Fanning is the only serious young actor besides her in Hollywood. It was a complete and total waste of my time, but I read the whole thing twice. One page in the magazine was an ad for two new books that the editors thought the fans of the Twilight series would enjoy, one was called If I Stay, about a young girl who is in a horrible car accident and as she lies in a coma her spirit follows her friends and family around watching how they are coping with her imminent death. Wah wah. The second was called Thirteen Reasons Why. There was a website for this book; it’s the author’s debut novel. On this website I found a comment left on the main page from a girl named Ashley, she said she’d persuaded her 9th grade English teacher to have her class read this book instead of Romeo and Juliet. They did character analysis’ and and now the teacher has decided it should be part of the required reading every year. Considering that my daughter will one day be in the 9th grade I thought maybe I’d look into this book, see if maybe I’d be okay with it. Its kind of like wanting to reread The Great Gatsby, I know my kid will read it one day, I’d like to have my own opinions about it fresh for when she comes to me with questions. So I looked online and there was an audio book for download, I got it and have been listening to it since. So far what I’ve gathered is that this book is about a girl who commits suicide. Her name is Hannah Baker and before she overdoes she makes cassette tapes, seven of them, each side giving one of the reasons why she killed her self. There are thirteen sides and one is blank, I am currently on cassette 3 side B. It starts out like any other 9th grade drama, but one thing after another and they are all little things, they snowball and they take over her entire life. This whole story is a testimony on why someone first said “if you don’t have anything nice to say…” or “thou shalt not lie” It’s such a simple and easy lesson to teach to children but none of them listen. Kids are so mean, they lie, they cheat they are horrible and they fight and put people down. I remember high school and how every little slight was life or death. My mom could say you aren’t wearing that are you and that would mean that obviously I was hideously ugly and I should just cut my face off so no one would have to see it ever again. I remember that. It was horrible. And there was a time around the 8th grade where I cried for 9 months strait over some stupid boy who broke up with me for my best friend because I wouldn’t do more than just kiss him. If you think about the rest of my life and how that snowballed it’s amazing. Watch your mouth people; there is no telling how your words will end someone’s world. Because by the time you realize what you’ve done it is always too late for apologies.
Fast forward another 24 hours. I’ve finished the book and I’ve had a whole night to think on it. And I am officially not sure what I think about it. I have no idea whether or not I’d want Laine to read it when she’s older. I know for the most part I won’t have a choice, once she gets to the age where she’d be reading young adult books I won’t be the hawk-eyed mom with her every second of every day. There is a good chance she’ll read it and I’ll never know. And I’d want to know because I have some valid opinions on the choices the characters made in their lives, I have similar life experience to Hannah and I made different choices than she did. I’m thinking about writing an essay of Thirteen Reasons Why Not and saving it until she’s of age then let her read both. I don’t know. Why does she need to learn to read anyway? Reading’s overrated.

TGI...wtF

1) Make art with Styrofoam and Staples

My Guy

I was running a fever again last night. The highest temperature I took was at 102.something. This morning it was back down so I came to work, since there are three people out of the office and no one else downstairs, there’s no chance of me spreading this on. I desperately want a nap.
Laine was up from 3:00 until a little after 5:00 with what I can only assume is teething pains. She had no fever but was inconsolable. And Erik took care of her for me. He’s such an amazing guy.
I got up with Laine at 3:00, I tried rocking her, I tried walking with her, I tried dancing in front of the big window in the red bedroom and nothing worked. I had her lay down in bed with me for a while and it seemed to cheer her up a bit until she started spastically flopping around and finally bashed her head against the wall at the head of the bed. At one point she basically belly flopped over Erik’s legs, Erik woke up and heard me begging Laine to settle down so he got up and took over for me; telling me to “get some sleep, momma. I got her”. Those are probably the most romantic words he’s ever uttered. She settled down after about fifteen minutes with him rocking her, I was so happy for the silence that I almost started crying myself, but it didn’t last. She kept having these spurts of hysteria, I mean, if a baby were able to have a panic attack I think this is what it would be like. She cried and screamed and clawed at Erik to get down and he just held on to her and shushed her and told her pretty things and promised her everything in the world if she’d just fall asleep again. I went in and out of sleep with her. Erik tried putting her back down close to five and she woke up like he laid her in a bed of fire and screamed for one last long minute before finally wearing herself out. Erik crawled back into bed with me and I couldn’t find enough places on his face to kiss him. I loved him so much at that moment. And again he just told me not to worry, it’s taken care of, he loves me, go to sleep. I may have been sick and tired but I’d never felt more loved and taken care of. He is so wonderful with Laine, he's marvelous with me.

Weekend Update

If you think I am about to tell you about a healthy weekend full of parks and sno cones and swimming pools you have got the wrong blog. I’m about to tell you about a weekend full of fevers and rainy days and antibiotics and long afternoon naps full sleep talk.
Laine and I both had fevers this weekend. Friday I wasn’t feeling so good and Laine was cranky and refusing to go down to sleep after dinner. Once I finally got her to sleep I decided to stay up a little later, like an idiot so that come Saturday morning I was feeling like and even larger pile of poop. Laine felt super warm to me when she woke up and Erik was taking April to the vet so I asked him to fill Laine’s antibiotic prescription while he was out and to buy us one of those thermometers that you stick in the kids ear. Those work great on babies and mommies. She was at 100.7 and I was at 99.5. That’s pretty high for the both of us. I also asked him to look for some Tylenol or Motrin for her fever, he said the CVS had been picked clean, all Motrin and Tylenol products had been bought and there was only one box of generic brand Tylenol left, the pharmacist actually congratulated Erik on getting the last box. After temperatures were taken and Tylenol and antibiotics were dispensed Laine and I still felt pretty crappy and spent the whole entire day lounging together in the living room. If you’ve met my daughter you now that even when she’s sick she’s still active so for her to take an entire day to just lie around and cuddle with me she must have been really sick.
Sunday morning Erik got up with Laine and let me sleep in a little later until almost 9:30 then threw the baby on me to wake me up. That was nice. My fever was back down to a manageable 99.5 again so I got dressed and went to church. Laine started tugging on her ear right before church but quit soon after. We ate lunch out and then headed home for naps, I took one with Laine until almost 4:00, and then Erik got us up again so we could go visit with his family for dinner. Laine seemed to be a hundred percent better while we were there and it made me think that if she can tough it out so can I. But really I was miserable and counting the minutes until I could go home again. And what did I do once I was home and Laine was in bed asleep, I stayed up until 10:30 cleaning the house and doing laundry. So yeah I feel like poop again today. Maybe tomorrow will be better.
Jacob’s first basketball game with his new team is tonight at 8:00, I’m going to try and fight my way through the sick and just go and have fun and take pictures. Fingers crossed that I make it out alive.

Grr. But in a Calm, Rational Way.

You ever get irritated about something but instead of people accepting that you are frustrated over some THING they think you are angry at some ONE? That’s my problem today. I got annoyed today, everyone gets a little miffed every now and again, but I wasn’t peeved at any one person, I was just a little bit bothered with a situation; a span of time where opinions were voiced. The opinions of others are what bugged me, but not the people involved. Is that really so hard for other people to understand? Really? Because I’m already over it, and I’m still getting asked if I’m okay. I was never not okay, and the super funny thing is that I told no one about my aggravation, they just started asking me who I was pissed off at. NO ONE jeez, well, maybe you now, but seriously, I need new facial expressions, mine are stating to overlap.

On a lighter note, here's Laine playing in the sprinkler at my mom's house.

Crazy

There’s a commercial that has been airing the last few weeks, I’m thinking it’s a razor commercial but I’m not completely sure seeing as how I can never watch it to the end. It’s the one where normal things keep turning into water, like the boy and girl on the bed and she hits him in the face with a pillow but when it makes contact it turns to water. What the heck?! That’s insane. My mind wants to splinter at the thought of it. Erik thinks it’s funny to imagine what I’d do if it ever happened to me, he says they’d stick me in an empty padded cell. I say if they did that I’d probably drown in it, pillows for walls equals you’re under water.

Almost Only 130

I forgot to take Laine’s picture yesterday. And almost the day before too. I got a photo of Laine from Sunday night but only after dragging myself up at 11:00 and taking one of her sleeping. That counts. Yesterday I just didn’t take one, it completely slipped my mind. Luckily for me my mom took one on her phone. I was in such a panic this morning. I didn’t even realize I hadn’t taken a photo until I saw my purse in the entry way this morning, with my camera lying on top, just where I’d left it when I first walked through the door the evening before. I know it’s ridiculous but I felt like suck a jerk. Like I’ve got this amazing thing I’m trying to do for Laine, get a photo everyday, and I missed one. So I feel like obviously Laine will one day look back and have to ask me, “what was so important that day that you couldn’t take one little photo?” And then I’m going to cry. So I’m grateful to my mom for putting that day off just a little longer. Of course in that same mindset I’m going to have the whole conversation of why I didn’t start on her first day getting a photo every single day, I could lie and say I did but it all got deleted with the rest of our photos off Erik’s computer but I won’t want to do that. I can only hope that she’s more like Erik than me and this whole mess will never actually happen. That she'll just meh it and I won't have to feel like a jerk. Then again I hope she’s more like me than Erik so that she’ll appreciate the daily snapshots and not meh it, just not to the point where it hurts her feelings or anything. Yeah, I'll just hope she's more like Erik.

Weekend Update

I’m not normally the kind of person that looks forward to coming into work on Mondays. Actually I look for every reason under the sun to stay home most days; I look for reasons but don’t normally find them. I’ve got a pretty good attendance record, I only take off for illnesses so severe that a doctor visit is required for myself or for Laine, so when I started throwing up around 3:30 this morning you’d think I’d use that excuse to stay home today, but no, I was up at 6:00 putting makeup on and my new dress that I got for Mother’s Day, slipped into my high heels and threw may hair up to dry curly and off to my Monday I go. Still sick to my stomach and feeling dizzy but I’m here, and not at home. And I’ll tell you why.

Friday I got off work around 3:00 and headed strait home to clean. I got the living room and the dining room done before I had to go and get Laine. And it was clean. So clean it looked like it did when we first moved in and everything had a place and there was no clutter or dust or random toys on the floor. It was clean like my mom’s house is clean and I was dang proud of myself. Saturday I cleaned the office and the kitchen while Erik watched Laine and cleaned the bathroom. Halfway through that we took a break to go and see Josh play his soccer game at the park and eat some lunch. Laine started getting cranky near the end of lunch but we still had to stop by Target and Home Depot. I had Erik go to Home Depot while Elaine and I walked around Target and we’d checkout when he got there. I picked out what I wanted for Mother’s Day while I was walking around. An amazingly comfortable robe, Erik got me the matching pants as an extra little surprise. Laine was ready to throw a fit by the time we got done with all of our shopping so we headed back to the house to finish cleaning and getting ready for dinner. Well I cleaned, Erik and Laine build a fort in the living room with the couch cushions I had just vaccuumed. We were having my brother and sister over for fish that I had no idea how to cook and I wanted the house to be clean for them. Not so much that I thought they’d appreciate it and not so much that I need my house to be clean for guests, it’s just that momma taught me good, so I can’t not clean for company. Kind of like taking your clothes off before you get in the shower, it’s just something you do.
Cassie and James showed up around 5:30 and we started marinating the fish and getting the rice cooked and the veggies ready to roast and opened our first bottle of wine. Erik and James had Laine with the in the living room and in the back yard while Cassie and I stayed in the kitchen. It was a wonderful dinner but at some point between bottle of wine one and bottle of wine three I blacked out. I’ve heard stories that I was laying in the front yard talking to Cassie about how the stars at my house are different than the ones at her house, but at least I didn’t embarrass myself. Ha.
Then Sunday morning I woke up around 7:30 and went down for a glass of water only to find all of my clothes from the previous night in a pile in the middle of the kitchen. Yeah… I went back upstairs and there were leaves on my pillow. Oookay… I woke Erik up and said “hey did we have amazing sex last night or was that just an amazing dream?” Apparently we had gymnastastical, I’m still limping from the exertion kind of haven’t-done-this-since-I-was-a-teenager sex. UH- MAZING. Erik threw out his hip and my shoulders are still sore today. Where did that go in my life? Why does that not happen every single night? Oh yeah, because with the unabashedly free me comes a severe hangover. I haven’t felt this way since college, I’ve never had a wine hangover like this and it was awful. I curled up on the couch with Laine and didn’t even get dressed for church until 9:55. Church starts at ten. I didn’t have to go to church, I could have stayed home all day if I’d wanted, it was mothers day and my day and I could be bad if I wanted, but I didn’t want to. I wanted to see my mom and I wanted to get my mothers day hug from my dad. Those are the best. Seriously. Like yeah I screwed up a ton in life and yeah I still screw up a tone now and maybe getting pregnant wasn’t such a smart move back in the day but look at all the wonderful things that have come out of it. Knowing my dad thinks that makes my Mother’s Day hugs the best.
After church it was still all I could do to keep from vomiting so we skipped lunch and just headed over to Erik’s moms house… where they were cooking about six dozen eggs. There was an amazing looking pile of cheese covered eggs with ham and veggies in it but it also had onions, so did everything else but the French toast and deviled eggs. They didn’t know we were coming and I got about four different apologies for the onions but I got super full on the toast, it was just what I needed to help be feel better. I tried to take a short nap on the couch after we ate but Laine had other ideas. She got me good, right ton the nose, with the TV remote. I thought my nose was broken for a few minutes, but it didn’t even bleed. After a while we went home so that I could lay down some more but on the way Laine finally fell asleep for her first nap of the day so we put her down and I changed into my pajamas and headed over to my persons house while I had no responsibilities and she and I were able to celebrate our day together for almost an hour. I need to start celebrating more holidays so that I can see her more often, it’s like birthdays and holidays are the only time we have anymore. Stupid responsibilities, keeping me from my person.
After I got back home I woke Laine up and we all hung out in the living room until bedtime. Laine stayed up later than usual again and Erik and I went to bed at the same time she did. She woke up at 2:30 thought and I got up and gave her a bottle then laid her in bed with me, but I was coughing so much that I finally go up and took some Robitussin. I crawled back into bed but not even two minutes alter my chest started burning, from the inside. It felt like the Robitussin was eating away at whatever lining there was in my throat, so I got back up again, waking Laine up again and drank three big glasses of water then made myself throw it all back up. And once I started that it just wouldn’t stop. I got back into the bedroom at 3:30 and Laine was still awake. I rocked her for a while but at 4:30 I got Erik up again and had him take her for me, I only had another hour before my alarm was going to go off. He took her and she was out in minutes, I don’t know how he does it but I’m jealous.

So that’s why I’m at work today. This weekend wasn’t a bad weekend but it was full and I’m over it. I’m ready to get the week started so that I can get to next weekend and try and do it all better. This time with no hangover, but hopefully a little more of the amazing sex.

TGI... wtF

1) Nautilus Undersea Suit at the Poseidon Resort in Fiji.

2) 5 year old Peruvian girl, worlds youngest mother.

3) Russian Roulette for Kids!

4) Trojan, doing thier part to remind parents that this all could have been avoided.

5) Woman claims to have gotten pregnant from watching 3D porn... husband says "The films in 3-D are very real. With today’s technology, anything is possible".

Maxin' and Relaxin'

Pretty Baby

In comparison to the last few weeks yesterday and today are like a Disney movie music montage. The only way things could be easier is if birds and squirrels started helping me with the laundry. Laine’s been feeling better it seems and she’s been in the best mood ever for about the last twenty-four hours. Yesterday morning it took a little doing to get her up and dressed but once I said “Do you want to put on your shoes?” and she said “sffoo?” and I started clapping and cheering like she’s just recited the whole Encyclopedia Britannica she brightened and seems to have stayed that way. I picked her up around 5:45 last night and she and I headed to CVS (again) to get my prescription filled and to get some new sippy cups and tissues. And she just sang and screamed the whole time, saying bye to every single person that we passed and yelling it so loud when we left that I jumped. I got so many comments about how sweet and beautiful Laine is. I mean, I know that she’s amazing, and I know that she is beautiful but it makes me feel like it’s a compliment to me when I hear it from other people. I feel like she’s pretty because I bathe her and he’s happy because I feed her, I know it’s all wonky logic but it makes me feel good. So when I hear “She’s so cute!” I say “thank you” and I mean it.
But seriously now... how cute is sffoo?? It’s the cutest word ever; I almost don’t want to correct her and just let her go on for the rest of her life thinking they’re called sffoo’s and everyone else is wrong. But I won’t, I say “that’s right, shhhooooozzzzah” which is so much better.
After we got back home I put a frozen pizza in the over for Erik’s dinner and Laine and I went outside to do some exploring. All she wanted to do was crawl around in the grass and stalk the neighbor’s cat, then crawl between my legs over and over and over and over again. I got some great pictures of that. When Erik got home we ate and played in the living room for a bit then Laine and I went upstairs and she was out before 9:00. She’s been staying up later at night now since she got sick but she still typically goes down before 9.
This morning Laine heard me taking the dirty clothes downstairs and saw me walking away from her which caused her to hysterically scream like a banshee but the basket was heavy and I was already halfway down the stairs and so I went the rest of the way, grabbed a diaper while I was down there and ran back to her, but I was too late, her face had mottled and her nose was running and she was sobbing so hard she started coughing. Although she was happy again in a few minutes she was still hiccupping when we got to the daycare. So even though she gave me a big hug and kiss and told me byebyebeebeemamama all while smiling I still feel horrible for starting her day off like that. Tonight she’s getting pudding after dinner to make up for it. I know she’s not going to remember crying earlier and she will have to concept of an apology desert but I will and I will feel like a better mom for giving it to her.

Children

It's one thing to hear about them, to know that they are out there. But to see them, it breaks my heart.

Wordless Wednesday

Another Doctor Visit

So yesterday was a long day. After I was able to swap Laine’s appointment from today to yesterday my mom and Josh brought Laine up to the doctor’s office for me and I met them there. Josh we a trooper and well behaved the whole time, it was nice to not have to chase around a spastic four year old on top of a spastic one year old.
Once we got into the exam room we had about a twenty minute wait before the nurse came into take Laine’s measurements, right before the nurse knocked on the door Laine busted her face good on the window sill. I tried grabbing for the back of her shorts but she was like a see-saw and I just grabbed the center while the heavier side smashed down. The heavier side being her face. So of course she was crying and in pain and wanting my mom to hold her but the nurse was ready for us so she had to go with me to get weighed, she calmed down a bit and got interested in what was going on, but then we went back to the room and she remembered that she wanted Nana. But she still needed to get measured so she got a little hysterical for a brief moment. After the nurse left it took Dr. Collard just enough time to get to us that Laine had cheered back up when we had to upset her again. For the most part Laine is really curious about what doctors and nurses do, it’s when they need to hold her face in some way that she gets upset. She doesn’t kike it when she can move her head. The doctor told us that although we thought we had a slam dunk ear infection (what with all the crying for seemingly no reason and the tugging on her ears…) what it really was an upper respiratory infection. Of course, how could I not see that?
We were given a prescription for antibiotics but I was told not to fill it unless Laine develops a fever, which she hasn’t done so that’s amazing. We were also given eye drops for her swollen eye. I have to give it to her every two hours and man you’d think I was putting acid in her eyes with the reaction she gives. I tried the drops and it’s just like saline solution, it feels like water. I think it’s the unknown that freaks her out, the fact that never before has anything other than her finger gone into her eye. This morning I put the drops into the wells of her eyes and pulled up on her lids so that she was still asleep and it didn’t scare her, now if I can only get her to take a nap every two hours so that I can medicate her without her flipping out.
After we left the doctors office I dropped off the prescription for the eye drops and stopped by Colleen’s to visit for the hour they said it would take to fill the order. It was amazing to see her during daylight hours for once. Laine was okay during the visit, happy to play on her own and not visit too much but she wanted lots of hugs from Colleen which was so cute. She ate some grapefruit and ice while we were there but hen we had to leave to go get the medication and photos I was getting developed. She fell asleep in the car on the way home but woke up as soon as I unbuckled her. I gave her half a dose of Dimetapp right before we left downtown and another half dose when we got home hoping that it would knock her out but all it seemed to do was amp her up. She stayed cranky for the rest of the day but as long as you keep her entertained she doesn’t cry too much. She got really frustrated one of her toys when it didn’t do what she wanted it to do and for a while I couldn’t’ convince her to try something else, even taking her outside didn’t cheer her up. At about 5:30 I packed her back up and went back to CVS to do some shopping. I bought myself all new makeup and some nail polish. I got some new hair dye that took me forever to pick a color, I kept putting the box up to Laine's head trying to match the color and there is no color like hers so I went with the closest one. The whole time we were at the store Laine was happy, swinging her feet and singing/screaming. For once I didn’t shh her, I didn’t give a damn who was bothered by her, she was happy and that was all that mattered at that moment. There is suck a huge difference between a sad or hurt scream and a happy one, I love her happy scream now.
We got home just before 7:00 and Erik met us shortly after. Erik had a few things he wanted to get done around the house, cleaning up a little and unpacking the glass top for the dining room table so Laine and I made him some black bean tacos while he worked. After he finished eating his dinner I made Laine a bottle, gave her medicine and eye drops and got Erik and Laine settled on the couch so that she could go to sleep. It was 8:00 and past her bedtime as it was so when she started crying as I was leaving I figured a little crying a little formula and she’d be out. But I had my doubts. I drove to my parents while Erik took care of Laine and I visited for a bout 45 minutes, stalling as much as I could before going home. When I got there I was trying to be very quiet to not wake up Laine but then I heard the happy scream, she and Erik had just gotten out on the bath and she wasn’t even a little bit tired. It’s like Dimetapp has no effect on her. I’m buying Dimetapp PM tonight to see if that will. She woke up around 3:00 this morning crying and didn’t stop until right before 5:00. This morning she was cranky but not crying. Fingers crossed tonight goes well.

Monday Madness

Laine is sick again. I don’t know what to do for my girl, it’s like she is never fully healed, she just had good days that fool me into thinking she is. Saturday evening Laine’s nose started running profusely, a steady stream of clear snot, but she didn’t seem stuffy, she had no problems when drinking from her cup or eating and she wasn’t snoring too badly in her sleep. She started coughing sometime during the night but it only woke me up not her. Sunday she was coughing more, the morning wasn’t so bad but that night it was horrible, again she slept all night but her coughing definitely kept me up, it isn’t a barking cough or a scratchy one but it was loud, really loud. This morning she woke up with nasty green snot and a worse cough. She had bad crustiest I her eyes that I though I’d wiped away but once I got to mom’s house her left eye had crusted again and looked like it was swollen. I figured it could have been from me rubbing at it but mom says it’s still swollen so I called Dr. Collard and now I’m just waiting for 11:30 so I can bust out of here and meet mom at the doctors.
And in case anyone is wondering yes, I do know how good I have it with my mom. Yes, she is the best parent/grandparent ever. Yes, I feel blessed beyond anything I deserve. No, you can’t have her. Now for a little update from this weekend on news other than Laine's illnesses.
On Saturday morning I was in Laine's room separating out her clothes and cleaning up while Erik and Laine played on the floor by my feet, and on top of my feet and under my feet at some points even inside my feet. Laine went to her bookshelf and was looking at them trying to decide what to read, finally she picks one and takes it to Erik and sits in his lap, what book did she choose? I love you, Daddy! Is that not the most amazing thing ever?

In other news... Joshua cut his own hair. I think he looks amazing.

35 Years Later

Today marks the official date given to the end of the Vietnam War. Some news groups are posting photos to help us remember. I thought I’d do my part as well. It took me a while but here are some that moved me. I don't know what it is about this war that always captured my interest but I can't seem to learn enough about it, read enough about it but when I see these images it reminds me that I know nothing about war and I can admit that I never want to learn the honest truths of it. Thank God we have our hero's to learn for us.

U.S. military action in Vietnam was a piece in the global Cold War struggle. After Vietnamese nationalists overthrew French colonialists in the 1950s, the country was divided between the Communist north and the anti-Communist south. In the ensuing conflict, Washington backed the south, fearing that a Communist takeover could cascade through Southeast Asia. The first U.S. forces engaged in the conflict in secret, by way of Cambodia. As the civil war intensified in the 1960s, the United States expanded its operations in the region, deploying some 3 million American troops over time, but U.S. forces struggled to gain ground as they fought in difficult and unfamiliar terrain against extremely capable guerrilla fighters. As the war dragged on and casualties mounted, opposition to the war exploded. By the time American forces withdrew in 1975 and Saigon fell to Ho Chi Minh's Communists, 58,000 Americans and between 1 million and 2 million Vietnamese had died. It was the longest war in U.S. history and the most unpopular American war of the 20th century, but then again what war is popular? In this 1965 photo, paratroopers cross a river in the rain near Ben Cat, in the south.
June 11, 1963, Buddhist monk Quang Duc burns himself to death at a busy Saigon intersection to protest persecution of Buddhists. An unidentified U.S. Army soldier sports the slogan "War Is Hell" on his helmet in Vietnam on June 18, 1965.
U.S. Marines emerge from their muddy foxholes at sunrise after a third night of attacks by North Vietnamese troops on Sept. 21, 1966.
The body of an American paratrooper killed in action near the Cambodian border is raised to an evacuation helicopter in Vietnam in 1966. Women and children crouch in a muddy canal as they take cover from intense Viet Cong fire at Bao Trai, about 20 miles west of Saigon on Jan. 1, 1966.
A soldier of the U.S. Seventh Marines carries a puppy in his pocket after rescuing it during an operation southwest of Da Nang in Vietnam on Jan. 22, 1968.
South Vietnamese Gen. Nguyen Ngoc Loan, chief of the national police, shoots suspected Viet Cong officer Nguyen Van Lem, also known as Bay Lop, on a Saigon street on Feb. 1, 1968. U.S. Army medic James E. Callahan of Pittsfield, Mass., A South Vietnamese woman mourns over the body of her husband, found with 47 others in a mass grave near Hue in April 1969. Lt. Col. Robert L. Stirm is greeted by his family at Travis Air Force Base in Fairfield, Calif., on March 17, 1973, after returning home from Vietnam, where he had spent five years as a prisoner of war. This image came to symbolize the end of U.S. involvement in the war for many. U.S. Navy personnel aboard the USS Blue Ridge push a helicopter into the sea off the coast of Vietnam in order to make room for more evacuation flights from Saigon on April 29, 1975.