Living in Texas and Louisiana has hardened me against bigotry a bit. Or softened me maybe; here’s my situation. For the most part I’ve always had bigotry and racism around me. People make jokes and snap judgments and I do too sometimes, I’ll admit. It’s difficult to constantly be around a certain kind of people without taking on their traits, including anger and hate. But when a joke is told that is prejudiced in nature most try to not laugh but when stereotypes are used it’s hard, I know. Most people I know will walk away when they can and generally keep themselves away from small minded people who tend to make comments that are offensive.
In certain areas of my life it’s hard for me to walk away. I try to keep to myself a lot when I am around certain xenophobe’s, I play my music just a little loud or I “go internal”, just refusing to hear what is going on around me. When someone is speaking directly to me and they make a joke or remark that offends me I try to be diligent and speak up and against it, but sometimes when I accidentally overhear something that I consider wrong I don’t let myself get angry at them for talking that way when it wasn’t meant for my ears in the first place.
The thing that gets me though, especially about the men and women that I see everyday, is that they know that racism is wrong. They know that their prejudiced language is inappropriate. When they are around others who do not agree with their intolerance and they slip and say something idiotic and get a look for it, they try to backtrack away from that comment, or they’ll try to make it out so that it was you that completely misinterpreted their remark.
I get so angry when people know they are doing something wrong and still they insist on making it a central part of their life. The fact that people will go out of their way to not say certain things to certain people and then turn around and joke about that same thing to some other narrow-minded bigots is so tragic. I mean, why? Why would you say things that if said in front of the person you’re talking about would make you embarrassed, why would you say it at all? People who I find to be jerks will hear from me that they are jerks; I won’t just say it behind their backs. I do talk about people, a lot, it’s something that I consider to be a personal problem, I gossip and I trash talk a lot. But typically the people that I talk about know exactly how I feel about them, I’m not afraid to let people know exactly what I think about them, positive or negative.
I guess what I’m saying is bothering me is the fact that people who know it’s wrong to call someone a bigoted name and still do it, not out of habit or how they were raised but because they truly are a hateful person, that makes me gnash my teeth and it makes them a sad, small piece of trash in my book.
Friday, July 31
Let's Play A Game #2
One more Flickr mosaic, because my all time favorites change from day to day.
1. What is your first name? Amanda
2. What is your favorite food? Chips and Dip
3. What high school did you go to? Westminster
4. What is your favorite color? Brown
5. Who is your celebrity crush? Evan Kasprzak
6. Favorite drink? Iced Coffee
7. Dream vacation? Monument Valley, Utah
8. Favorite dessert? Cupcakes
9. What you want to be when you grow up? Librarian
10. What do you love most in life? Music
11. One Word to describe you? Plain
12. Your flickr name? aprosendahl
1. What is your first name? Amanda
2. What is your favorite food? Chips and Dip
3. What high school did you go to? Westminster
4. What is your favorite color? Brown
5. Who is your celebrity crush? Evan Kasprzak
6. Favorite drink? Iced Coffee
7. Dream vacation? Monument Valley, Utah
8. Favorite dessert? Cupcakes
9. What you want to be when you grow up? Librarian
10. What do you love most in life? Music
11. One Word to describe you? Plain
12. Your flickr name? aprosendahl
Thursday, July 30
Laine's Lesson
What is glass? 
She seemed a bit confused as to why she couldn't get to me through it.
She seemed a bit confused as to why she couldn't get to me through it.
Dream a Little Dream
I had a dream the other night, it was one of those dreams that seem to never end. I woke up no less than four times and every time I went back to sleep that dream was there waiting for me. I both love and hate those kinds of dreams. I love them because I love sequels, and that’s what returning to a dream and having it continue is like to me. I hate them because I never remember the entire dream. How am I supposed to remember the week long adventure when it gets crammed in to a five hour hole in my head I have to look at against the backs of my eyelids? Yes, my dreams are almost always projection movies in my head, with subtitles if someone speaks a foreign language. Neat, huh?
I do remember some of the dream though. It was post apocalyptic Galveston. Erik, Laine and I were living in a beached cruise ship. I say beached but there was no beach, Galveston wasn’t even an island anymore. At one point Erik had to walk to what we still called the Mainland to get supplies, as we had already used up any in the area. It seemed like the sun was always out and water came from big tarps stretched across the front of the boat to catch raindrops, which you had to take and put into bottles and store in the shade quickly before it evaporated. It was scorching hot all year round, even when it did rain. The beach had moved miles off shore and what we could see of the Gulf had turned into a poor copy of the Grand Canyon.
Everywhere was covered in sand (I've put in a picture to help me covey the sandy feel) and there were no birds or bugs or people anywhere except on the boat with us that we never actually saw, and we went out of our way to make sure they didn’t see us either. Every now and then we’d hear a loud siren, signaling us that whatever big bad was hiding in the Bay was getting close, and we’d have to go hide in our room with all lamps put out and making no sound until the siren sounded again meaning we were safe to come back out. We were never scared though we knew that whatever was out there would eat us if it had the chance. I have a mental image of a mix between the smoke monster from Lost and zombies, but I never actually saw it. As soon as we left the room we’d go and continue teaching Laine how to skateboard in the empty pool, or we’d take the maps from the old captain’s quarters and start righting out our story. We had no family or friends with us and no way of knowing where they were or if they even survived. We had no books or music or electricity or plumbing, but we were happy and had apparently been that way for a while, a few years if I read the feeling of the dream right.
That’s all I remember of the dream, not too interesting, but entertaining to watch in my head. I woke up thinking that it’s nice to know that nuclear holocaust won’t happen in my lifetime. That is of course hopeful thinking but I like to stay positive as far as the end of the world goes.
That dream got me thinking about other things that I’ll never see and all the things that I hope to see. I’d like to see my husbands business become exceedingly successful, I’d like to see my mother become famous for her devotional studies, I’d like to see my dad be able to retire to a place where he can lounge and read every book he ever dreamed of and I’d like to see my children grow up healthy and happy and have families of their own. These things are all plausible considering our circumstances as they stand today. I really do hope that I’m around when a woman becomes president, I’d like to see the Second Coming for sure and I want to be an active part in my grandchildren’s lives.
There are also some things that I know I’ll never see or be a part of in this lifetime. A good remake of Red Dawn; that of course will never happen, you can’t just throw together an ensemble like the one they had in the original, and even if you can get together an group of actors that could stand equal to the Wolverines there just no context that you could put the movie in for it to be relevant to the time, no more Cold War and it’s no longer believable that Soviet’s would attack mid-western America, we'll just have to wait for the next big bad enemy to pop up, then maybe they could do a good remake. ( I don't count what's going on in the Middle East. I mean they'll never be able to pull off a full blown arial strike. Do they even have planes?)
Also, I'll never live to see Texas secede. We talk big here but we’ll never actually try to pull away from the U.S. One, that would be dumb, and two, if we left we wouldn't be considered so big anymore and our size where our entire ego lies.
And Joan Rivers dying, I mean the lady is all plastic and batteries.
But of all the things that will not happen in my lifetime; the thing I am most bummed about is not seeing the invention of the time machine. I really was looking forward to getting my own flux capacitor.
I do remember some of the dream though. It was post apocalyptic Galveston. Erik, Laine and I were living in a beached cruise ship. I say beached but there was no beach, Galveston wasn’t even an island anymore. At one point Erik had to walk to what we still called the Mainland to get supplies, as we had already used up any in the area. It seemed like the sun was always out and water came from big tarps stretched across the front of the boat to catch raindrops, which you had to take and put into bottles and store in the shade quickly before it evaporated. It was scorching hot all year round, even when it did rain. The beach had moved miles off shore and what we could see of the Gulf had turned into a poor copy of the Grand Canyon.
Everywhere was covered in sand (I've put in a picture to help me covey the sandy feel) and there were no birds or bugs or people anywhere except on the boat with us that we never actually saw, and we went out of our way to make sure they didn’t see us either. Every now and then we’d hear a loud siren, signaling us that whatever big bad was hiding in the Bay was getting close, and we’d have to go hide in our room with all lamps put out and making no sound until the siren sounded again meaning we were safe to come back out. We were never scared though we knew that whatever was out there would eat us if it had the chance. I have a mental image of a mix between the smoke monster from Lost and zombies, but I never actually saw it. As soon as we left the room we’d go and continue teaching Laine how to skateboard in the empty pool, or we’d take the maps from the old captain’s quarters and start righting out our story. We had no family or friends with us and no way of knowing where they were or if they even survived. We had no books or music or electricity or plumbing, but we were happy and had apparently been that way for a while, a few years if I read the feeling of the dream right.That’s all I remember of the dream, not too interesting, but entertaining to watch in my head. I woke up thinking that it’s nice to know that nuclear holocaust won’t happen in my lifetime. That is of course hopeful thinking but I like to stay positive as far as the end of the world goes.
That dream got me thinking about other things that I’ll never see and all the things that I hope to see. I’d like to see my husbands business become exceedingly successful, I’d like to see my mother become famous for her devotional studies, I’d like to see my dad be able to retire to a place where he can lounge and read every book he ever dreamed of and I’d like to see my children grow up healthy and happy and have families of their own. These things are all plausible considering our circumstances as they stand today. I really do hope that I’m around when a woman becomes president, I’d like to see the Second Coming for sure and I want to be an active part in my grandchildren’s lives.
There are also some things that I know I’ll never see or be a part of in this lifetime. A good remake of Red Dawn; that of course will never happen, you can’t just throw together an ensemble like the one they had in the original, and even if you can get together an group of actors that could stand equal to the Wolverines there just no context that you could put the movie in for it to be relevant to the time, no more Cold War and it’s no longer believable that Soviet’s would attack mid-western America, we'll just have to wait for the next big bad enemy to pop up, then maybe they could do a good remake. ( I don't count what's going on in the Middle East. I mean they'll never be able to pull off a full blown arial strike. Do they even have planes?)
Also, I'll never live to see Texas secede. We talk big here but we’ll never actually try to pull away from the U.S. One, that would be dumb, and two, if we left we wouldn't be considered so big anymore and our size where our entire ego lies.
And Joan Rivers dying, I mean the lady is all plastic and batteries.
But of all the things that will not happen in my lifetime; the thing I am most bummed about is not seeing the invention of the time machine. I really was looking forward to getting my own flux capacitor.
Wednesday, July 29
Happy Again
Monday, July 27
Missing Out
I like my job. The people here are amazing. They are a great support system for me, some have become good friends and most are someone I would miss if they were gone. 
But even though I like going into the office and enjoy the interaction with my co-workers it’s not enough to make up for the fact that little by little I’ve become miserable not being with my girl.
I spend an hour and a half a workday commuting, half my salary goes to daycare, and I feel like I’m missing all the good parts of Laine’s development. I’m completely exhausted by the end of the day and not giving her 100% for the few hours we are together before bedtime. I feel disconnected and want to be home with her.
Days are tough, being pulled in both directions. I wonder; am I doing my best at my job? Do I have enough energy to give Laine at the end of the day? It hurts my heart to not be all that I want to be, both at home and away from it. Failure is not a factory-installed option i
n my model. The fact that I am away from home during the day not only hurts me in the time I could be spending with Laine but also in the time I need to spend being a wife. I haven’t been on top of the laundry in months; Erik hasn’t had an ironed shirt in over 6 months Sometimes I won’t do dishes for days, not until I smell it and it reminds me that I need to, and the same goes for the trash.
The biggest challenge has been learning to balance all my different responsibilities. I need to give my all in whatever is asked of me and the fact that I have been giving less lately is upsetting to me. I’m not the best wife and mother I can be. If I were just given more time in the day I could be better. I know that I could do more,
and I’m not just talking laundry and cleaning, I mean I could work with Laine on sitting up and rolling over; I could spend time just memorizing her face and letting her memorize mine. I could sit and talk with Erik one on one about his day, I could tell him about mine. I want to just hang out with my daughter; this is a special time that I’m missing. She’s only this age once, she’ll never be at this stage again and I’m not just missing it, I’m completely absent from it. I'm grateful that she has good people around her when I can't be but some of the memories that she’ll have of growing up won’t include me, and it doesn't have to be that way. I could give so much more of myself if I was allowed to do so. I could be everything that she needs and wants but as is stands today, I have only four short hours to give what I am able to the ones I love before bedtime. It’s too little. I need so much more time.
But even though I like going into the office and enjoy the interaction with my co-workers it’s not enough to make up for the fact that little by little I’ve become miserable not being with my girl.I spend an hour and a half a workday commuting, half my salary goes to daycare, and I feel like I’m missing all the good parts of Laine’s development. I’m completely exhausted by the end of the day and not giving her 100% for the few hours we are together before bedtime. I feel disconnected and want to be home with her.
Days are tough, being pulled in both directions. I wonder; am I doing my best at my job? Do I have enough energy to give Laine at the end of the day? It hurts my heart to not be all that I want to be, both at home and away from it. Failure is not a factory-installed option i
n my model. The fact that I am away from home during the day not only hurts me in the time I could be spending with Laine but also in the time I need to spend being a wife. I haven’t been on top of the laundry in months; Erik hasn’t had an ironed shirt in over 6 months Sometimes I won’t do dishes for days, not until I smell it and it reminds me that I need to, and the same goes for the trash.The biggest challenge has been learning to balance all my different responsibilities. I need to give my all in whatever is asked of me and the fact that I have been giving less lately is upsetting to me. I’m not the best wife and mother I can be. If I were just given more time in the day I could be better. I know that I could do more,
and I’m not just talking laundry and cleaning, I mean I could work with Laine on sitting up and rolling over; I could spend time just memorizing her face and letting her memorize mine. I could sit and talk with Erik one on one about his day, I could tell him about mine. I want to just hang out with my daughter; this is a special time that I’m missing. She’s only this age once, she’ll never be at this stage again and I’m not just missing it, I’m completely absent from it. I'm grateful that she has good people around her when I can't be but some of the memories that she’ll have of growing up won’t include me, and it doesn't have to be that way. I could give so much more of myself if I was allowed to do so. I could be everything that she needs and wants but as is stands today, I have only four short hours to give what I am able to the ones I love before bedtime. It’s too little. I need so much more time.Saturday, July 25
Saturdaze
Lazy days are my favorite; the smell of fresh cut grass and a charcoal fire drifting in from outside while you sit and sip on a cold glass of fill in the blank here, the sound of children playing in the neighbor’s yard and oldies on the radio, and nothing to do with your time but smile at the one sitting next to you. Today was not one of those days. I have a baby; I may never have one of those days again... sigh.
Oh well, my second favorite type of day is spent surrounded by friends and family with good food and a happy kid. That's the kind of day today was and really still is.
It started this morning around 8:00 when Laine woke me up by laughing and blowing raspberries at her mobile. I had to use the restroom before getting her up but she wasn't having any of that, she saw me try to walk by and started crying so I picked her up. I don't know how many of you out there have had to pee with a twenty pound five month old slung halfway over your shoulder and sitting on your boob but if you have, dang, kudos. That’s hard. Seriously, by the time I had finished I felt like I had gotten a nice workout as well as an affirmation of my parenting skills. I was proud of myself.
Then I got a text from my person saying that they were taking their last trip to their storage facility to finally get everything moved in to their new home. (I’m sure she’ll be telling you all about that eventually.) So after Laine woke daddy up we got packed and dressed and headed out to help where we could.
I helped by sitting on the ground and feeding Laine some sweet potatoes. It’s what I do, I do it well.
Then after Erik helped move boxes into the house, and I sat in the living room with Laine and got allergic to the couch, (again, it’s what I do) we headed home so that Erik could do yard work. He mowed and he weed eated and he edged and he blow dried and it looked so amazing I was half tempted to ask him where he hid the Mexicans, but I didn’t. Really, that man is an artist with the yard.
After the yard was done and Erik had taken a much needed shower we headed to momma and daddy’s house so that we could go shopping with them at Sam’s. But then Erik went to lie down on the couch and turned on the soccer game so it ended up being just me and mom that went shopping. And that really was a bad decision on Erik’s part, letting me go alone, because I spent at least twice what I told him I would. Oops.
Then back to the parent’s house to start on dinner; barbeque chicken, yum, but we didn’t have a lot of stuff and since Erik was taking a nap and Laine was too I decide that I’d leave her with him while we went to HEB. He could argue with me about it when he woke up, oh wait, no he couldn’t because I was gone. Ha! Over to HEB and back home to find Erik is gone. Well I knew he’d be a little miffed about me leaving her there without telling him, but really!? He left? Jeez. So I get inside the house and find my father with Laine and he’s laughing telling me that Erik had to go home and change because
Laine had pooped all over him but he was quick in returning and while I helped mom cook dinner Erik sat with Laine and started giving her some peas, which she promptly spit back at him. He’s a little amused but annoyed, so he walks away and 
just lets her do her own thing for awhile. Which she is fine perfectly fine with.
Then dinner is ready and we turn on The Fast and The Furious: Tokyo Drift and sit down for a quiet meal. Now we are finishing the movie and waiting to watch the Dynamo stomp New England.
A really great day for sure.
And just for kicks, here’s
a picture of mom doing the dishes.
Oh well, my second favorite type of day is spent surrounded by friends and family with good food and a happy kid. That's the kind of day today was and really still is.
It started this morning around 8:00 when Laine woke me up by laughing and blowing raspberries at her mobile. I had to use the restroom before getting her up but she wasn't having any of that, she saw me try to walk by and started crying so I picked her up. I don't know how many of you out there have had to pee with a twenty pound five month old slung halfway over your shoulder and sitting on your boob but if you have, dang, kudos. That’s hard. Seriously, by the time I had finished I felt like I had gotten a nice workout as well as an affirmation of my parenting skills. I was proud of myself.
Then I got a text from my person saying that they were taking their last trip to their storage facility to finally get everything moved in to their new home. (I’m sure she’ll be telling you all about that eventually.) So after Laine woke daddy up we got packed and dressed and headed out to help where we could.
I helped by sitting on the ground and feeding Laine some sweet potatoes. It’s what I do, I do it well.
Then after Erik helped move boxes into the house, and I sat in the living room with Laine and got allergic to the couch, (again, it’s what I do) we headed home so that Erik could do yard work. He mowed and he weed eated and he edged and he blow dried and it looked so amazing I was half tempted to ask him where he hid the Mexicans, but I didn’t. Really, that man is an artist with the yard.
After the yard was done and Erik had taken a much needed shower we headed to momma and daddy’s house so that we could go shopping with them at Sam’s. But then Erik went to lie down on the couch and turned on the soccer game so it ended up being just me and mom that went shopping. And that really was a bad decision on Erik’s part, letting me go alone, because I spent at least twice what I told him I would. Oops.
Then back to the parent’s house to start on dinner; barbeque chicken, yum, but we didn’t have a lot of stuff and since Erik was taking a nap and Laine was too I decide that I’d leave her with him while we went to HEB. He could argue with me about it when he woke up, oh wait, no he couldn’t because I was gone. Ha! Over to HEB and back home to find Erik is gone. Well I knew he’d be a little miffed about me leaving her there without telling him, but really!? He left? Jeez. So I get inside the house and find my father with Laine and he’s laughing telling me that Erik had to go home and change because
Laine had pooped all over him but he was quick in returning and while I helped mom cook dinner Erik sat with Laine and started giving her some peas, which she promptly spit back at him. He’s a little amused but annoyed, so he walks away and 
just lets her do her own thing for awhile. Which she is fine perfectly fine with.Then dinner is ready and we turn on The Fast and The Furious: Tokyo Drift and sit down for a quiet meal. Now we are finishing the movie and waiting to watch the Dynamo stomp New England.
A really great day for sure.
And just for kicks, here’s
a picture of mom doing the dishes.And dancing.
She dances when she does the dishes.
I think that’s marvelous. 
Update:
Thursday, July 23
If You Don't Know
This is an open family newsletter.
It's to be sent off to family members and friends who live far away that I have not been able to keep updated as much as I should. Mostly it's for the New Englander's and Denmarker's in Erik's family.
(Some of this is stolen from my other blogs...)
Hello All!
I’d like to start this out by sharing Elaine’s first couple of days with you, and then we’ll get to our updates.
We went into Texas Women’s hospital February 3rd as early as they’d let us; the thing with inducements at this particular hospital is that there are so many births taking place there that natural births take precedence, of course. So what you have to do is call in, starting around 8:00 in the morning and you leave your name and number and tell them that you would like to be induced, if your doctor has sent an okay ahead of your call you will be put on the list. We were told to expect a call anywhere from two to ten hours… but our prayers were heard when we got a call only one hour later! We took our hospital bag and jumped in the car for the forty minute drive downtown where they had me all set up and ready to go in record time.
My mother, angel that she is, made sure to capture all of the important moments. (At my best angles too. )
After only 7 minutes of labor; pushing labor, that is, Erik shouts "It's a girl!" and I start crying just as Laine does too. I am a blessed woman, don’t I know it. 
Dad was the first one to get a day off, the local soccer team the Houston Dynamo were having a scrimmage before their season began to which Erik was so giddy about there wasn’t much saying no, and we survived well enough on out own. But we did take a picture just to rub in his face later. Ha!
When March came (too soon), I had to return to work, for the first week I didn’t know what we were going to do, we split up Laine’s week between family and friends, one of which (my super amazing best friend) was kind enough to help me with my separation anxiety by hooking up a web cam to Laine's bassinet so that I could watch her while I was at work.
But at the end of the week we decided it was time to start Laine at daycare. She began attending the la Petit Academy; an amazing daycare with knowledgeable experienced childcare experts that impress me to no end. We love our Miss April the most. And on most Monday’s and some Friday’s my mom with go get her early to spend time with her; which turned out to be really nice for me in that I no longer needed to rush through traffic to get to the daycare before closing time.
We have since lost all of our dark curly hair and have replaced it with a much lighter blonde. We still have one or two curls in there too, at lease I am not giving up hope on them coming back. Fingers crossed!
It's to be sent off to family members and friends who live far away that I have not been able to keep updated as much as I should. Mostly it's for the New Englander's and Denmarker's in Erik's family.
(Some of this is stolen from my other blogs...)
Hello All!
I’d like to start this out by sharing Elaine’s first couple of days with you, and then we’ll get to our updates.
We went into Texas Women’s hospital February 3rd as early as they’d let us; the thing with inducements at this particular hospital is that there are so many births taking place there that natural births take precedence, of course. So what you have to do is call in, starting around 8:00 in the morning and you leave your name and number and tell them that you would like to be induced, if your doctor has sent an okay ahead of your call you will be put on the list. We were told to expect a call anywhere from two to ten hours… but our prayers were heard when we got a call only one hour later! We took our hospital bag and jumped in the car for the forty minute drive downtown where they had me all set up and ready to go in record time.
My mother, angel that she is, made sure to capture all of the important moments. (At my best angles too. )
After only 7 minutes of labor; pushing labor, that is, Erik shouts "It's a girl!" and I start crying just as Laine does too. I am a blessed woman, don’t I know it. We tried to breastfeed but Laine had trouble latching on at first and the doctor told us that the muscles in her cheeks were not developed enough 
to allow for breastfeeding and after she lost some weight, a little over five ounces we started her on formula. While at home we kept pumping so that she was on a half and half diet, but eventually we had to give it up, which was incredibly disappointing but we all soon got over it, especially when she found out that she didn’t have to fight for her food anymore. And mommy was happy that daddy could help with the midnight feedings! He was excited too, even if he didn’t look like it.
to allow for breastfeeding and after she lost some weight, a little over five ounces we started her on formula. While at home we kept pumping so that she was on a half and half diet, but eventually we had to give it up, which was incredibly disappointing but we all soon got over it, especially when she found out that she didn’t have to fight for her food anymore. And mommy was happy that daddy could help with the midnight feedings! He was excited too, even if he didn’t look like it.Dad was the first one to get a day off, the local soccer team the Houston Dynamo were having a scrimmage before their season began to which Erik was so giddy about there wasn’t much saying no, and we survived well enough on out own. But we did take a picture just to rub in his face later. Ha!
You know come to think of it, he doesn't watch a game without her any more.
I must say that Erik is the most amazing father. He does so much to help me that sometimes it seems like he does most of the caretaking of Laine himself and it’s me that’s helping him. I’m lucky that he
wanted to be a father. He looked forward to being a parent just as much as I did and he’s not taking any of this experience for granted. He understands that we have to recognize the value of everything about her infancy because she won’t be like this much longer. He is even aware of the beauty of the sound of her cries; he knows that sound will change soon. I have a greater appreciation of him as my husband the more I see him with our daughter.
I must say that Erik is the most amazing father. He does so much to help me that sometimes it seems like he does most of the caretaking of Laine himself and it’s me that’s helping him. I’m lucky that he
wanted to be a father. He looked forward to being a parent just as much as I did and he’s not taking any of this experience for granted. He understands that we have to recognize the value of everything about her infancy because she won’t be like this much longer. He is even aware of the beauty of the sound of her cries; he knows that sound will change soon. I have a greater appreciation of him as my husband the more I see him with our daughter. Now for the updates. A lot has been happening in the last few months and I’m going to try to update on all of it. We have been doing a lot of first lately, but I guess that’s what the first year is all about, huh? And everything is happening so very fast.
When March came (too soon), I had to return to work, for the first week I didn’t know what we were going to do, we split up Laine’s week between family and friends, one of which (my super amazing best friend) was kind enough to help me with my separation anxiety by hooking up a web cam to Laine's bassinet so that I could watch her while I was at work. But at the end of the week we decided it was time to start Laine at daycare. She began attending the la Petit Academy; an amazing daycare with knowledgeable experienced childcare experts that impress me to no end. We love our Miss April the most. And on most Monday’s and some Friday’s my mom with go get her early to spend time with her; which turned out to be really nice for me in that I no longer needed to rush through traffic to get to the daycare before closing time.
April came and we had a professional photographer come by the house and take some photos for us, they came out amazing!
We have since lost all of our dark curly hair and have replaced it with a much lighter blonde. We still have one or two curls in there too, at lease I am not giving up hope on them coming back. Fingers crossed! 
Easter was wonderful this year; Erik ordered a bunny costume online so she was able to be the Easter bunny for the egg hunt
!
And then we changed into our pretty dress for church.
In May we took our first airplane ride to Midland, Texas to see our Sydney, my brother's new beautiful wonderful wife, graduate from Texas Tech in Lubbock. Laine is the BEST traveler ever. She slept during the hard parts, like security checks and take offs and landings, and for the rest of the time she was awake and a joy to be around and to care for. 
May also had us swimming for the first time at Tricia’s house. I forgot to pack her swimsuit so 
we went naked and loved it. Gran got in the water with us but I think Laine was more interested in chewing on grandma’s fingers than she was in the actual water at first, but she did take to the water really well. We spent the majority of the time trying to keep the sun off her and then dad came out with the smarts and got us an umbrella.
June brought with it Laine’s four month check up, she was fourteen pounds and twenty-four inches and that meant that in two months Laine had grown three inches and gained three pounds! Apparently the average is around nineteen pounds, so I don’t know if she is behind or if this is just her pace, but I’m going to go with the “everything-is-fine-and-my-baby-is-perfect” outlook on the situation.
W
e were given permission to start on rice cereal at that check-up. She did so well with it. She didn’t have the problems swallowing the cereal like we were told she would, she doesn’t spit much out, and the only time it gets all over her is when something makes her smile when she has her mouth full. Due to the fact that she's got me and Erik standing over her and applauding each bite she takes that happens a lot.
We started on veggies a few weeks later. Actually, let me back up. First we started her on fruits, applesauce, bananas and pears. She is not a fan of pears, but if we mix it with the rice cereal she does fine.
Anyway, she got sick with some major congestion and coughing so we took her to go and see the doctor again, just two much too short weeks after her four month checkup. I think she remembered the three shots she had received the last time because she wasn’t too happy to be there again. But we learned that she had gained two pounds! We got some decongestant and infant Tylenol and after about a week she made a full recovery. During the time she was sick we took her off the cereal and fruits and afterwards we started on veggies. Anything green seems to be her favorite. 
She was officially into size two diapers June 10th. This little one has thunder thighs like you wouldn’t believe. She wears size 6-9 month clothes already, but it fits lose on top and tight on bottom.
And her personality is really starting to come out now. Funny,but it's looking alot like my own at the moment.
We are working on sitting up, rolling over and crawling. She seems to be giving all of it equal attention and effort.
I’m pretty sure she’s going to start teething soon; all that drooling and gnawing on fingers has to mean something other than she’s hungry.
Overall everything is great. Laine is the apple of our eye and the pig in our sty. Parenting is fun work and we are enjoying every minute. Hopefully we will be able to see you all soon, but in the meantime be happy, be healthy and be safe.
Much Love,
Amanda
(and Erik and Laine)
Thursday, July 16
Day One
In celebration of Laine's 5 month 1 week and 6 day birthday, here is a gathering of moments that were caught on her first day with us.
It should be "read" left to right, top to bottom.
Beginning to end.
Makes a girl proud of what she's done.
And just so it's out there, here's proof.
Colleen was there.
:) I love you person.
It should be "read" left to right, top to bottom.
Beginning to end.
Makes a girl proud of what she's done.
And just so it's out there, here's proof.
Colleen was there.
:) I love you person.
Wednesday, July 1
I'm Cured!
***Before I start today’s diatribe on this country’s inhabitants ability to shirk their responsibility in any and all aspects of life I have to say that I am angry, I’m seething, irate, teed off, mad. I was listening to my favorite morning radio program on my way into work and they touched briefly on a scientific study that they had come across in some article they had read, it piqued my early morning foggy brain’s interest and I decided to Google and Wikipedia my way around the subject while I had my super amazing cup of coffee before getting my day started. And what I found, my dear God in Heaven, upset me to the point of nausea. I may need my mom to Theophostic me and tell me why it bothers me so much, but anyway of course I need to share my findings. Be forewarned. I write this with angry fingers backed by angry thoughts.
They have a name for why I’ve acted like such an A-hole for most of my life. It’s not my fault that I’ve been a bitch. It’s no ones fault. It’s all because of this disorder I’ve had, that you probably have too. That really, if you think about it, we all have.
I mean everyone is moody and argumentative sometimes, right? Especially during the teenage years. And even the best behaved children can be difficult now and again; but there is no reason to fear parents, it’s not your fault. The persistent patterns of tantrums and arguing and disruptive behavior towards authority figures are in reality a disorder that as many as one in ten children may have.
Oppositional Defiant Disorder.
Symptoms of ODD may include:
-Frequent temper tantrums
-Excessive arguing with adults
-Often questioning rules
-Active defiance and refusal to comply with adult requests and rules
-Deliberate attempts to annoy or upset people
-Blaming others for his or her mistakes or misbehavior
-Often being touchy or easily annoyed by others
-Frequent anger and resentment
-Mean and hateful talking when upset
-Spiteful attitude and revenge seeking
Does any of that sound familiar? It should because I just described EVERY TEENAGER ON THE PLANET!
What is this world coming to that every single thing has to have a name and a treatment? Just put the chips in our heads now and move us to Stepford because that seems to be the end game.
For the love of peanuts, how many people are there really who refuse to take responsibility for their children? It must be quite a few because they have to make being a teenager a disorder. A disorder with a treatment at least though.
Treatment of ODD may include:
-Parent Management Training Programs to help parents and others manage the child’s behavior.
-Individual Psychotherapy to develop more effective anger management.
-Family Psychotherapy to improve communication and mutual understanding.
-Cognitive Problem-Solving Skills Training and Therapies to assist with problem solving and decrease negativity.
-Social Skills Training to increase flexibility and improve social skills and frustration tolerance with peers.
Parents can help their child with ODD in the following ways:
-Always build on the positives, give the child praise and positive reinforcement when he shows flexibility or cooperation.
-Take a time-out or break if you are about to make the conflict with your child worse, not better. This is good modeling for your child. Support your child if he decides to take a time-out to prevent overreacting.
-Pick your battles. Since the child with ODD has trouble avoiding power struggles, prioritize the things you want your child to do. If you give your child a time-out in his room for misbehavior, don’t add time for arguing. Say “your time will start when you go to your room.”
-Set up reasonable, age appropriate limits with consequences that can be enforced consistently.
-Maintain interests other than your child with ODD, so that managing your child doesn’t take all your time and energy. Try to work with and obtain support from the other adults (teachers, coaches, and spouse) dealing with your child.
-Manage your own stress with healthy life choices such as exercise and relaxation. Use respite care and other breaks as needed
How’s that now? They want us to spend time with our children? Give them positive reinforcement? Support them? Don’t pick fights with them? Jeez! Has it really come to this? Is the treatment for a kid being a teenager really for a parent to be a parent? People have to be TOLD that? How many people out there really think otherwise? And HOW did they begin thinking that way? It makes me crazy how some parents refuse to take responsibility for their children. First it wasn’t the parent’s fault that their kid is an A-hole because there are hormones involved. Now it’s really not their fault because it’s got a name and a treatment. And that means that no matter how you parent your kids it doesn’t matter in the end because however they end up there is a name for it and that name is It’s Not My Fault. How can parents expect their kids to take responsibility for their actions if the parents themselves won’t take responsibility for their children?
I’ve got to say though that I’m sure there are some kids out there who really do have disorders; that really do have issues with violence and serious emotional instability. I also believe that there really is such a thing as ADD and ADHD for some kids. Some kids, not one in ten. I’m also sure that there really are some children, again NOT one in ten, that do have this ODD. I think that there are some kids that take normal teenage angst to the umpteenth level and need either medication or therapy. Of course I’m talking about the kids that are actively aggressive towards people and animals, kids that deliberately engaged in activities with the intention of causing serious damage to people or property. I believe that those few really do really benefit from the treatment programs and the medication. I also believe that there are some people that are true blue sociopaths that need to be institutionalized for the sake of everyone else around them.
But for the most part I believe kids are just jerks that need a swift kick in the ass to cure most of their attitude problems. Walk into any high school or junior high in your area and park yourself in the cafeteria, you’ll see. Kids are jerks. Really, it’s the nice ones, the ones that just want to sit at the library doing their homework, or the kids that want to hang out with their families on the weekends; those are the weird ones. Those are the odd ducks, the ones that stick out like sore thumbs. Those are the ones that should have a name and treatment. But I’m sure that if I looked hard enough, Google and Wikipedia around a bit, I’d find that they even have a medication to fix that too.
I am angry about this. I’m angry that there is now such a thing as Oppositional Defiant Disorder. I’m angry that there are people out there who want to make their teenager go to psychotherapy sessions to work out their negativity and frustration tolerance. I’m angry that so few parents are willing to spank a child when they talk back, I’m upset that so few parents will explain to a child why it is not okay for them to throw a tantrum or be mean and hateful. Talk to these kids, give them a time out, smack their butts, but do not call their defiant attitude a disorder. It’s ridiculous and I really can’t stomach it.
But really the thing I am most angry about is that the fact that there is going to be countless parents now that will use this ODD as an excuse to give up on their kids, and countless teenagers who will take advantage of the fact that their defiance can be categorized as a disorder.
Soon no one will be held accountable for their actions. No one will need to take responsibility for anything, least of all themselves. No one is liable. And where, it the end, when all disorders have been named and all treatments have been developed, where will that leave us?
They have a name for why I’ve acted like such an A-hole for most of my life. It’s not my fault that I’ve been a bitch. It’s no ones fault. It’s all because of this disorder I’ve had, that you probably have too. That really, if you think about it, we all have.
I mean everyone is moody and argumentative sometimes, right? Especially during the teenage years. And even the best behaved children can be difficult now and again; but there is no reason to fear parents, it’s not your fault. The persistent patterns of tantrums and arguing and disruptive behavior towards authority figures are in reality a disorder that as many as one in ten children may have.
Oppositional Defiant Disorder.
Symptoms of ODD may include:
-Frequent temper tantrums
-Excessive arguing with adults
-Often questioning rules
-Active defiance and refusal to comply with adult requests and rules
-Deliberate attempts to annoy or upset people
-Blaming others for his or her mistakes or misbehavior
-Often being touchy or easily annoyed by others
-Frequent anger and resentment
-Mean and hateful talking when upset
-Spiteful attitude and revenge seeking
Does any of that sound familiar? It should because I just described EVERY TEENAGER ON THE PLANET!
What is this world coming to that every single thing has to have a name and a treatment? Just put the chips in our heads now and move us to Stepford because that seems to be the end game.
For the love of peanuts, how many people are there really who refuse to take responsibility for their children? It must be quite a few because they have to make being a teenager a disorder. A disorder with a treatment at least though.
Treatment of ODD may include:
-Parent Management Training Programs to help parents and others manage the child’s behavior.
-Individual Psychotherapy to develop more effective anger management.
-Family Psychotherapy to improve communication and mutual understanding.
-Cognitive Problem-Solving Skills Training and Therapies to assist with problem solving and decrease negativity.
-Social Skills Training to increase flexibility and improve social skills and frustration tolerance with peers.
Parents can help their child with ODD in the following ways:
-Always build on the positives, give the child praise and positive reinforcement when he shows flexibility or cooperation.
-Take a time-out or break if you are about to make the conflict with your child worse, not better. This is good modeling for your child. Support your child if he decides to take a time-out to prevent overreacting.
-Pick your battles. Since the child with ODD has trouble avoiding power struggles, prioritize the things you want your child to do. If you give your child a time-out in his room for misbehavior, don’t add time for arguing. Say “your time will start when you go to your room.”
-Set up reasonable, age appropriate limits with consequences that can be enforced consistently.
-Maintain interests other than your child with ODD, so that managing your child doesn’t take all your time and energy. Try to work with and obtain support from the other adults (teachers, coaches, and spouse) dealing with your child.
-Manage your own stress with healthy life choices such as exercise and relaxation. Use respite care and other breaks as needed
How’s that now? They want us to spend time with our children? Give them positive reinforcement? Support them? Don’t pick fights with them? Jeez! Has it really come to this? Is the treatment for a kid being a teenager really for a parent to be a parent? People have to be TOLD that? How many people out there really think otherwise? And HOW did they begin thinking that way? It makes me crazy how some parents refuse to take responsibility for their children. First it wasn’t the parent’s fault that their kid is an A-hole because there are hormones involved. Now it’s really not their fault because it’s got a name and a treatment. And that means that no matter how you parent your kids it doesn’t matter in the end because however they end up there is a name for it and that name is It’s Not My Fault. How can parents expect their kids to take responsibility for their actions if the parents themselves won’t take responsibility for their children?
I’ve got to say though that I’m sure there are some kids out there who really do have disorders; that really do have issues with violence and serious emotional instability. I also believe that there really is such a thing as ADD and ADHD for some kids. Some kids, not one in ten. I’m also sure that there really are some children, again NOT one in ten, that do have this ODD. I think that there are some kids that take normal teenage angst to the umpteenth level and need either medication or therapy. Of course I’m talking about the kids that are actively aggressive towards people and animals, kids that deliberately engaged in activities with the intention of causing serious damage to people or property. I believe that those few really do really benefit from the treatment programs and the medication. I also believe that there are some people that are true blue sociopaths that need to be institutionalized for the sake of everyone else around them.
But for the most part I believe kids are just jerks that need a swift kick in the ass to cure most of their attitude problems. Walk into any high school or junior high in your area and park yourself in the cafeteria, you’ll see. Kids are jerks. Really, it’s the nice ones, the ones that just want to sit at the library doing their homework, or the kids that want to hang out with their families on the weekends; those are the weird ones. Those are the odd ducks, the ones that stick out like sore thumbs. Those are the ones that should have a name and treatment. But I’m sure that if I looked hard enough, Google and Wikipedia around a bit, I’d find that they even have a medication to fix that too.
I am angry about this. I’m angry that there is now such a thing as Oppositional Defiant Disorder. I’m angry that there are people out there who want to make their teenager go to psychotherapy sessions to work out their negativity and frustration tolerance. I’m angry that so few parents are willing to spank a child when they talk back, I’m upset that so few parents will explain to a child why it is not okay for them to throw a tantrum or be mean and hateful. Talk to these kids, give them a time out, smack their butts, but do not call their defiant attitude a disorder. It’s ridiculous and I really can’t stomach it.
But really the thing I am most angry about is that the fact that there is going to be countless parents now that will use this ODD as an excuse to give up on their kids, and countless teenagers who will take advantage of the fact that their defiance can be categorized as a disorder.
Soon no one will be held accountable for their actions. No one will need to take responsibility for anything, least of all themselves. No one is liable. And where, it the end, when all disorders have been named and all treatments have been developed, where will that leave us?
Monday, June 15
Improving Family Fun Time
Erik bought us a Wii Fit this weekend. He told me he wants me to "do the yoga stuff so we can boink like circus freaks"... Interesting.
I told him to focus on the strength training stuff so that we can improve our stamina.
Maybe I should get him to focus on the yoga...
I told him to focus on the strength training stuff so that we can improve our stamina.
Maybe I should get him to focus on the yoga...
Starbucks. It's My Grown-up Medicine.
Laine is sick. Starting Friday evening she got a really stuffy nose and would sneeze every now and then. Then all day Saturday she was stuffy and snotty and coughing, and Sunday she was just plain miserable. Today she is better. I think she's okay anyway. I hope she's okay, no, I know she's okay; I just can't stop thinking about her while I sit here at my desk,
far, far away from her. Mom’s taking care of her and I got a photo from her so I know she’s fine, I have proof that she is fine; but I’m not. I need to be close to her, taking care of her myself. I feel like I’m snubbing my responsibilities; I should have taken the day off work and stayed home with her.
Even though Laine slept somewhat peacefully after the Tylenol kicked in, I was up about every hour and a half to check on her. Around three thirty this morning I just had to give up on getting any sleep. Her breathing kept spontaneously clearing up so it sounded to me like she wasn’t breathing at all which would wake me up with a violent start and I’d jump out of bed, not easily done with a body shape conforming foam mattress and a blubberous midsection, to check on her. Once I realized that the rest of the night would be just me continuing to get an abdominal workout I decided to get up and do some laundry instead.
Stupid sickness hurting my baby.
Stupid paranoid parent syndrome making me crazy.
far, far away from her. Mom’s taking care of her and I got a photo from her so I know she’s fine, I have proof that she is fine; but I’m not. I need to be close to her, taking care of her myself. I feel like I’m snubbing my responsibilities; I should have taken the day off work and stayed home with her.Even though Laine slept somewhat peacefully after the Tylenol kicked in, I was up about every hour and a half to check on her. Around three thirty this morning I just had to give up on getting any sleep. Her breathing kept spontaneously clearing up so it sounded to me like she wasn’t breathing at all which would wake me up with a violent start and I’d jump out of bed, not easily done with a body shape conforming foam mattress and a blubberous midsection, to check on her. Once I realized that the rest of the night would be just me continuing to get an abdominal workout I decided to get up and do some laundry instead.
Stupid sickness hurting my baby.
Stupid paranoid parent syndrome making me crazy.
Wednesday, June 10
Life With Bitty
A lot has been happening in the last few weeks and I’m going to try to update on all of it but for the most part the photos will have to speak for themselves. Maybe.
She got three more shots at this checkup and she still has little knots on her thighs but we’ve been rubbing at them and they seem to be going away.
She is officially into size two diapers, the last of the one-two got used this morning.
We went swimming for the first time at Erik’s parent’s house. I forgot to pack her swimsuit so we went naked and loved it. Grandma got in the water with us but I think Laine was more interested in chewing on grandma’s fingers than she was in the actual water, but she took to the water really well.
We were given permission to start on rice cereal this week;
We had a super lazy weekend but got some amazing pictures out of it.
She's been geting into those Dynamo games with dad.
Laine had her four month check up last Friday, she is now fourteen pounds and twenty-four inches and that means that in the last two months Laine has grown three inches and gained three pounds. When Jacob was four months old he was nineteen pounds, so I don’t know if she is behind or if this is just her pace, but I’m going to go with the “everything-is-fine-and-my-baby-is-perfect” outlook on the situation.
She got three more shots at this checkup and she still has little knots on her thighs but we’ve been rubbing at them and they seem to be going away.
She is officially into size two diapers, the last of the one-two got used this morning.
We went swimming for the first time at Erik’s parent’s house. I forgot to pack her swimsuit so we went naked and loved it. Grandma got in the water with us but I think Laine was more interested in chewing on grandma’s fingers than she was in the actual water, but she took to the water really well.
She’s a lounger. She’s her mother’s daughter. We spent the majority of the time trying to keep the sun off her and then dad came out with the smarts and got us an umbrella.
I’m pretty sure she’s going to start teething soon.
All that drooling and gnawing on fingers has to mean something other than she’s hungry.
We were given permission to start on rice cereal this week;
She's dong so well with it.
She doesn’t have the problems swallowing the cereal like we were told she would, she doesn’t spit much out, and the only time it gets all over her is when something makes her smile when she has her mouth full. Due to the fact that she's got me and Erik standing over her and applauding each bite she takes that happens a lot.
We are proud parents of a genius child, what can we say?