I'm Cured!

***Before I start today’s diatribe on this country’s inhabitants ability to shirk their responsibility in any and all aspects of life I have to say that I am angry, I’m seething, irate, teed off, mad. I was listening to my favorite morning radio program on my way into work and they touched briefly on a scientific study that they had come across in some article they had read, it piqued my early morning foggy brain’s interest and I decided to Google and Wikipedia my way around the subject while I had my super amazing cup of coffee before getting my day started. And what I found, my dear God in Heaven, upset me to the point of nausea. I may need my mom to Theophostic me and tell me why it bothers me so much, but anyway of course I need to share my findings. Be forewarned. I write this with angry fingers backed by angry thoughts.

They have a name for why I’ve acted like such an A-hole for most of my life. It’s not my fault that I’ve been a bitch. It’s no ones fault. It’s all because of this disorder I’ve had, that you probably have too. That really, if you think about it, we all have.
I mean everyone is moody and argumentative sometimes, right? Especially during the teenage years. And even the best behaved children can be difficult now and again; but there is no reason to fear parents, it’s not your fault. The persistent patterns of tantrums and arguing and disruptive behavior towards authority figures are in reality a disorder that as many as one in ten children may have.

Oppositional Defiant Disorder.

Symptoms of ODD may include:
-Frequent temper tantrums
-Excessive arguing with adults
-Often questioning rules
-Active defiance and refusal to comply with adult requests and rules
-Deliberate attempts to annoy or upset people
-Blaming others for his or her mistakes or misbehavior
-Often being touchy or easily annoyed by others
-Frequent anger and resentment
-Mean and hateful talking when upset
-Spiteful attitude and revenge seeking

Does any of that sound familiar? It should because I just described EVERY TEENAGER ON THE PLANET!
What is this world coming to that every single thing has to have a name and a treatment? Just put the chips in our heads now and move us to Stepford because that seems to be the end game.
For the love of peanuts, how many people are there really who refuse to take responsibility for their children? It must be quite a few because they have to make being a teenager a disorder. A disorder with a treatment at least though.

Treatment of ODD may include:
-Parent Management Training Programs to help parents and others manage the child’s behavior.
-Individual Psychotherapy to develop more effective anger management.
-Family Psychotherapy to improve communication and mutual understanding.
-Cognitive Problem-Solving Skills Training and Therapies to assist with problem solving and decrease negativity.
-Social Skills Training to increase flexibility and improve social skills and frustration tolerance with peers.

Parents can help their child with ODD in the following ways:
-Always build on the positives, give the child praise and positive reinforcement when he shows flexibility or cooperation.
-Take a time-out or break if you are about to make the conflict with your child worse, not better. This is good modeling for your child. Support your child if he decides to take a time-out to prevent overreacting.
-Pick your battles. Since the child with ODD has trouble avoiding power struggles, prioritize the things you want your child to do. If you give your child a time-out in his room for misbehavior, don’t add time for arguing. Say “your time will start when you go to your room.”
-Set up reasonable, age appropriate limits with consequences that can be enforced consistently.
-Maintain interests other than your child with ODD, so that managing your child doesn’t take all your time and energy. Try to work with and obtain support from the other adults (teachers, coaches, and spouse) dealing with your child.
-Manage your own stress with healthy life choices such as exercise and relaxation. Use respite care and other breaks as needed

How’s that now? They want us to spend time with our children? Give them positive reinforcement? Support them? Don’t pick fights with them? Jeez! Has it really come to this? Is the treatment for a kid being a teenager really for a parent to be a parent? People have to be TOLD that? How many people out there really think otherwise? And HOW did they begin thinking that way? It makes me crazy how some parents refuse to take responsibility for their children. First it wasn’t the parent’s fault that their kid is an A-hole because there are hormones involved. Now it’s really not their fault because it’s got a name and a treatment. And that means that no matter how you parent your kids it doesn’t matter in the end because however they end up there is a name for it and that name is It’s Not My Fault. How can parents expect their kids to take responsibility for their actions if the parents themselves won’t take responsibility for their children?

I’ve got to say though that I’m sure there are some kids out there who really do have disorders; that really do have issues with violence and serious emotional instability. I also believe that there really is such a thing as ADD and ADHD for some kids. Some kids, not one in ten. I’m also sure that there really are some children, again NOT one in ten, that do have this ODD. I think that there are some kids that take normal teenage angst to the umpteenth level and need either medication or therapy. Of course I’m talking about the kids that are actively aggressive towards people and animals, kids that deliberately engaged in activities with the intention of causing serious damage to people or property. I believe that those few really do really benefit from the treatment programs and the medication. I also believe that there are some people that are true blue sociopaths that need to be institutionalized for the sake of everyone else around them.

But for the most part I believe kids are just jerks that need a swift kick in the ass to cure most of their attitude problems. Walk into any high school or junior high in your area and park yourself in the cafeteria, you’ll see. Kids are jerks. Really, it’s the nice ones, the ones that just want to sit at the library doing their homework, or the kids that want to hang out with their families on the weekends; those are the weird ones. Those are the odd ducks, the ones that stick out like sore thumbs. Those are the ones that should have a name and treatment. But I’m sure that if I looked hard enough, Google and Wikipedia around a bit, I’d find that they even have a medication to fix that too.

I am angry about this. I’m angry that there is now such a thing as Oppositional Defiant Disorder. I’m angry that there are people out there who want to make their teenager go to psychotherapy sessions to work out their negativity and frustration tolerance. I’m angry that so few parents are willing to spank a child when they talk back, I’m upset that so few parents will explain to a child why it is not okay for them to throw a tantrum or be mean and hateful. Talk to these kids, give them a time out, smack their butts, but do not call their defiant attitude a disorder. It’s ridiculous and I really can’t stomach it.

But really the thing I am most angry about is that the fact that there is going to be countless parents now that will use this ODD as an excuse to give up on their kids, and countless teenagers who will take advantage of the fact that their defiance can be categorized as a disorder.
Soon no one will be held accountable for their actions. No one will need to take responsibility for anything, least of all themselves. No one is liable. And where, it the end, when all disorders have been named and all treatments have been developed, where will that leave us?