Introducing... Me

A little about me: I don't perform well in high stress situations, I trip over my own feet a lot, I call my son by his brother’s name sometimes, and it takes me longer than the typical high school educated adult to calculate simple fractions in my head. I'm a thinker, not a do-er, a talker, not a writer. But somehow, bcolleen talked me into blogging. Look her up. If you’re going to read my shit you’re going to read hers too.

In the past I never had any problems telling people what I think and how I feel. If you were a douche I would tell you that you were a douche. If I loved you I’d have no hesitancy with telling you that I wanted to hug you and keep you safe. But through the years I’ve become jaded, if not flat out distrustful of others. It seems impossible to completely lay yourself out to the public and not get kicked in the gut for your openness. So I’ve learned to shut up. I have my person, my ONE person that I share my heart, ideas and thoughts with and that’s all I’m willing to risk anymore.

So as you can deduce I’ve got issues with blogging. The main issue I have is telling people what I really think. I don’t think there is a way to do that in a completely truthful way without hurting at least one person and it’s hard to do that when there’s a chance that that one person will be someone you love. So I’ve never ventured into the blogging universe for that reason.

I’m of the mind that most people want to be able to tell someone how they really feel but they end up doing it without actually telling anyone anything because most people are afraid of their own honesty. When you are afraid of your own thoughts and sharing those thoughts with others what is the point of putting them out where others can be hurt by them? Why not just keep a journal that you keep in your underwear drawer and never show anyone ever?

And I notice also that most people who comment on blogs are folks that are just telling you things to make you feel better which makes me want to yell, bullshit! But I don’t and neither do most bloggers.

So here I am. Blogging. I’m going to put thoughts, ideas, plans and feelings in here. I will be as honest as I know to be. I won’t hold anything back and so help me God if one person makes a comment on here that is anything less than completely honest I will not appreciate it and I will call you on that and I will yell bullshit!