I hate that I can’t fix other people's problems or heal their hurts. I would rather take their pain as my own then see them suffer, especially when I have felt the same pain.
When a friend is mourning you grieve with them for their loss, when they are hurt you join in their agony and when they are sad you share in their sorrow. But never can you take it away. You sit in the dark room, on the cold floor, on opposite sides of a telephone and you hold them if you can and you cry with them if they let you, but you can’t minimize the hurt; which is probably why it’s so hard to find the right thing to say when someone you care about is hurting. The defect of the friendship I try to give is that I want to say the right thing all the time; I need for my friends to be happy. I need for my words to encourage them to move forward, to make them feel better, so when there is nothing to say that is uplifting or helpful my mind goes blank. I want so badly to help. To have that one great motivational speech that makes my friends feel as if even if they must go into that proverbial battle that they know that every thing will be fine and good will overcome the evil and all hurts will be healed and all sadness will fade. I want to be that person for my person. I want to be her William Wallace, blue face paint and all.
What I can say is that sometimes precious things are taken away from us, and sometimes we lose what we didn’t even know we wanted but it doesn’t mean you can’t try again and again until that thing you want, that wonderful beautiful phenomenon is in your hands. Nothing in life is free and the things that mean the most need to be bought with blood and bone and though sometimes its scary moving forward after you feel like you failed keep in mind that it’s not brave if you’re not scared.
1 comment:
you are everything to me that you hope you are. im not at a loss of heart, its the hormones that are making me cry and feel crazy. im too rational not to see why things like this happen. I know there is nothing that could have been done, or that can be done. Thank god for the internet too, I was able to answer all the questions I had, and got to read stories of people who were just as confused as I was. I have never been given anything that I could not handle, and I swear somehow this process made me love Josie more. She has smiled a little brighter the past couple days, and her little back pats she gives me when I hug her, even while she is crying a big fit, it makes it all manageable. I dont know if I would be this together without her, without Michael, and of course without you. xo
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