August/September Update, Part Fat

So I started a new diet. I’m one week and one bacterial infection into it and I’ve lost about six pounds give or take five.
So mom’s got this friend and she did this diet and she lost a literal ton of weight. Like, three large children sized hunks of flesh have melted off her body, it’s crazy. And to celebrate her loss she took my mom and another friend to Le Berg du Lac to do some relaxing all paid by her. Nice, I say. Mom said that she cheated on her diet and everything while she was there and still didn’t gain any weight so I figured since mom was going to try this and dad was doing it too that I’d jump on that band wagon. Mostly because I was curious and I wanted grocery shopping to be cheaper anyway I could get it. So I did it for a week. Really only about five days, but I was super strict and I was totally into it. Then I got sick and completely lost my appetite and since part of this diet is eating six times a day that meant I was failing. I figured as long as I stuck to the plan whenever I did eat that I’d be okay and really I didn’t gain any weigh but I didn’t lose any.
So when you’re on a diet and there are a number of people around you also on the same diet and they are doing super well and telling you every day how many pounds their losing it gets a little stressful.
Last night was supposed to be my night to hang with my person but her dad was in town so instead of staying at home watching TV by myself I went to mom’s house to hang out. Erik said he’d be late anyway so I needed to find some way to entertain myself and if I spent one more night alone in front of the TV by myself I’d implode in a fiery mess of “Seriously!?”.
Anyway I get there and mom and Mrs’s Barden, Schmale and Pittman are there. And every single one of them are about half the size they were the last time I saw them. And they are all like, “I’ve been on a diet for thirteen days” and “I know I started the day after you” and my mom is telling me she needs to lose more because 135 is too heavy.
Are. You. Kidding. Me.
How fat do I feel sitting next to her hearing that. 145 is my ideal weight. Ten pounds heavier than she is now. I want to hit something. Very hard. Repeatedly.
I was like giant humpback whale that is trying desperately to get into a group picture with a dolphin, jellyfish, and seahorse and there’s no wide angle lens.
However, and yes there is a however. I got up this morning, refusing to look at my fat ass as I go climb in the shower, blasting the hot water wishing to God that cellulite melted at low temperatures then I head down stairs to get my jeans out of the dryer and wha???? They are loose! And they are my new jeans too, the ones I bought a size too small so that I could shrink into them! I needed to find a belt!
SUCK IT SKINNY LADIES! I may not be losing pounds but I’m losing something.
I don’t need no stinking scale!
So yeah, I don’t know if it was the diet or the sick but either way I’ll do it again if it keeps shrinking me.