Wordless Wednesday

Pickles, Vacuums and Laughter

So when I said yesterday that Laine’s crib mattress needed to be lowered over at Erik’s parent’s house, I meant that it needs to be done at all the houses; mine, Tricia’s and my mom’s. Laine had to sleep in the play yard last night because she scared the pickle out of Erik by almost flipping herself out of her crib. I hadn’t realized how much I’d enjoyed having my room all to myself until she started crying last night. There is a difference in loud noises coming from the baby monitor and loud baby noises coming from the foot of the bed. My first thought was she had fallen out of the crib and crawled into our room; I was up and awake in record time. Three AM freak out to the max.
Last night at my parents house Laine was of course being a super cute kid and distracting everyone from the latest episode of House. Erik was making her do her hysterical laughter and it made everyone else laugh too. After dinner mom used her little mop-vacuum thing to clean up the kitchen and laine wasn't too sure about the noise, she kept looking like she wanted to cry but then mom would pass thorough her line of sight again and she got more interested than scared. Then as we were trying to get Laine to calm down I had her in my lap and she started screaming, so loud. And the faces she made while she was screaming were hilarious, like she was really struggling to get those screams out, really pushing hard at them. I just about hyperventilated laughing at her, that’s one thing I need to get on video soon, Erik got a picture though.

Weekend Update

Friday night was a lot of fun; it started out frenzied for me and a little more than just hectic. Laine was super needy, wanting to be held and talked to so before I was able to start on anything I needed to get her belly full and get her cleaned up so that I could set her down in her walker; when she’s full and clean she’s happy to just watch what’s going on around her, sometimes I feel guilty for setting her down when I know she wants to be held but we gotta eat man! So I got a little late start on dinner but that’s okay because Erik was a little late getting home so in the end it all worked out. My person and her family came over for dinner and it was so nice to have them over. Josie was a knock out in her dress and cardigan, and her pigtails flounce so perfectly it’s adorable. What a heartbreaker she already is!
I made Chicken Enchiladas for dinner and black beans too, neither of which I’d ever made before, I didn’t use a recipe for either so I was holding my breath as everyone took their first bites. No one died, so it’s a win! It was great to just sit with friends talking over each other and laughing together, we need to do it more often.
Right at 8:00 Laine gave up and passed out and it was getting to be Josie’s bed time too so the McFee’s left us for their own house while Erik and I stayed up a little later watching TV together before calling it a good night.
We ended up sleeping in until almost 9:00. That’s way late for us, for those of you who don’t know. Laine woke me up with her talking. I peeked in her room and she was just jabbering away at Eeyore, I tried to sneak down the stairs to grab the camera but she heard me and started crying to get picked up so I got a picture of that.
Since we had no where to go and no one to see this weekend we took our time waking up. Erik slept a little later than we did until Laine thought he should get up, she crawled over to his side of the bed and smacked him good, then we all just lounged around and had a tickle fight until Laine got hungry so I got her dressed and headed downstairs to feed her, while I was down there blueberry muffins started to sound really good so they went in the oven while I headed back upstairs and talked dad into a family shower. It’s really some of the most fun we have as a family.
When showers were done we all headed downstairs to eat the perfectly done muffins and watch Disaster House for about an hour. Sitting around together Erik and I decided that Laine needed new leggings and socks so we got Laine’s bag packed up and we headed out to Carter's to use the coupon that my person gave me during our last Thursday meeting of the OMG-Pacey-is-So-Hot-is-That-Really-Izzies-Hair-Club (yeah, the name still needs work). 20% off if you spend $50 is what the coupon was for and it ended up being even more amazing because Carter’s was having a 50-70% off sale. So Laine got a Lain outfit like the anime that Erik likes, three dresses and one sweater/pants set all for $47 but we didn’t get any socks or leggings so we headed over to Target and got leggings for $3.77 each which seemed like a lot but it was worth it. She looked dang cute in them.
While at Target I also bought myself new underwear, so that’s number 37 off my list. It’s not anything fancy but it is something just for me and that’s always nice every now and then. We also got a little something for Josie’s Christmas present, I really can’t wait to see her with it, it’s going to be so cute.
As we left Target Torben called to let Erik know about the Denmark/Sweden World Cup qualifiers game that was on TV at 4:00 so we headed to the house and grabbed all our leftover’s from last week, the stuffed cabbage rolls, stuffed bell peppers and the chicken enchiladas from Friday night and brought it all over to Erik’s parents house to share as we watched the game. Everything got eaten so that made me very happy, I have a clean slate to start from for cooking this week.
While we were there Tricia got down a bunch of toys from her attic and let Laine play with them. She enjoyed the music maker in her crib the best, but I feel that the crib needs to be adjusted a bit; Laine is pulling herself up too well for the mattress to be so high now.
Friday night we had made some iffy plans with the McFee’s to do a movie but that fell through so Erik and I decided to first go on our own then decided against it, the movie we want to see will be better viewed as a group. So we then decided to rent a movie or two from his mother, which we did, however when we got home Erik passed out almost immediately on the couch. It was so weird, he wasn’t even tired and he never takes napes but sure enough, 8:30 and he was out. So I guess a movie was a bad idea anyway. I took Erik upstairs and put him to bed while I stayed up for a bit then I gave in too, it had been a pretty full day that wore me out too.
Laine woke up at 3:00 because she got a little cold. When we had stopped at the house to get leftovers we had opened all the windows in the house to let it air out while we were gone and it felt so nice that we just left them open during the night, but Laine’s fan was also on and her blanket had come off so she was in need of a snuggle to warm up but then she was wide awake, so I had to walk her around for about an hour before she would even take a bottle and go back to sleep. And then she woke up again at 7:00 needing to be changed but went back down nicely that time. We all slept in until 9:15; church starts at 10:00 so we had to rush, and I had to be sneaky about getting Erik up out of bed. Normally he is difficult to wake up but seeing as how he really did wear himself out the day before (yeah, drinking and watching soccer, hard work) he was still really sleepy. So I stripped down and stood in the middle of the room naked and asked him if he wanted to get me dirty before I got in the shower… that got him up. We were a few minutes late to church, but I think God will forgive us.
Church was good this Sunday. I didn’t forget Laine’s bottle so I was able to stay the whole sermon. Darren is getting over the flu so he sounded a little worn down but I thought the sermon was wonderful; simple Jesus, simple faith, that’s my kind of talkin’. After the sermon we all stood around like a bunch of hens in a coop trying to round everyone up to see where lunch would be. Amy and I both felt like eating breakfast so Cracker Barrel sounded wonderful to us, but there was an hour wait for a table so we went to Marina’s instead, good food either way in my book. Levi and Sydney showed up for lunch too so that was nice. I haven’t seen them in years it seems. Mom asked if she could keep Laine for a little while so after she went rollerblading with Mrs. White she came and picked Laine up. Erik and I were able to clean up the house a bit, I went to Barnes and Noble to buy myself a journal for my recipes to replace the journal I lost and I got my person’s husband’s birthday present while I was out. When I got home the living room had been vacuumed and Erik had lit candles, it was probably the sexiest moment of his life. And I told him so. He didn’t get it.
With Laine gone and all of out leftover's gone I was able to concentrate on dinner more than I usually am, I had made a wonderful snack for myself Saturday night and I wanted to try to turn it into something Erik would like too so I grilled some zucchini, squash and mushrooms with a lot of black pepper and butter and we made tacos. They were more than super amazing tacos to tell the truth, almost unbelievably amazing tacos. Erik doesn’t usually like vegetarian meals, but he went back for a second plate after he said he wasn’t that hungry, so I’m counting that as a win.
Erik and I ate dinner in a quiet house with no baby and no TV; it was nice, so comfortable and relaxing. After diner we snuggled on the couch for a while before going to pick up Laine at Momma and Daddy's. She had fallen asleep right before we got there and man, she was out, like a rag doll getting her in and out of the car seat and up to bed. She woke up about a half hour later though and stayed up until almost 11:00. She seemed fussy so I’m hoping that nothing is wrong with her, she doesn’t typically get fussy for no reason. She woke up during the night once; Erik got up with her for me so I don’t know when she woke up or how long she stayed up. I’m a little lost not knowing that information, weird.
This morning Laine woke me up with her talking around 6:00 but I just turned up the baby monitor so if she got loud enough Erik would get up and I took a shower and got ready, ends up she just went back to sleep so I left her there for Erik to take to daycare. Tonight will be my night for getting up with her and I’ll probably take her to daycare too so that Erik can sleep in a little if he wants. This morning I was able to get to work a little early and since I’ve been here it’s stopped raining and blue skies have come out, I’ve programmed two jobs already and updated all my spreadsheets, if today keeps going the way it is, it’ll be a good day.
This weekend Erik brought up our finances a time or two and today he sent me an email with a link to a potential new daycare for Laine. Tuition has gotten ridiculous, and this new place will save us almost $100 a month, but really the more I read about the school the more I want to send her there because of the school itself, not because of the price, and that makes the decision easier to make. Hopefully this new place will be as good to us as La Petit has been; it looks to be a school that likes to include parents a lot, so Erik and I should be going for a visit soon. I’ll blog about that later I’m sure.
Well that was our weekend. Family, food and fun; it’s really all you need in life.

Poor Disgruntled Pea People

This is the village of the Pea People.

They are about to be raided by the Paper Clip Army.

This is the meeting of the captains.

They are discussing the terms of war.

The Pea People are a bit disgruntled, the Paper Clip Armies use their fallen brothers as helmets.

Boo boos, Food, Birthdays and TV

Yesterday, all our troubles seemed so far away… lalala, watermelon.
Last night I picked Laine up from daycare around 6:30; I'm almost always the last parent there, and she had two incident reports sent home with her. One for a bump and scrape on the head that, get this, they said they didn’t notice before her nap at 1:00 but did notice it after she woke up, so they assumed it happened at home. Like she snuck out of her crib and crawled home. Because, you know, she can.
The second report was for her face, she’s got a scrape that looks worse in real life than it does in the photo (but that could be because the camera doesn't have the Mommy Eye lens to take photos with). She went from sitting on her bum to flat on her face on top of a toy then when she rolled off she scraped her face. They said she didn’t cry or yell or anything, she just got real quiet for a while, then she was fine. I wonder what goes through someone’s head when they experience something like pain on your face for the first time.
We made a quick trip over to CVS to get some photos printed and buy a new photo album for my dad’s birthday present. I counted; I have 38 pictures of Laine’s firsts. Her first ride in the car seat, her first biter biscuit, her first time to poop in the bath tub, I feel incredibly fortunate to have my camera on me so often.
When we got home dinner was more of less ready since we were having leftover stew, but I can’t not make something when I get home, it’s become too big of a habit for me so I started defrosting some hamburger meat and put some rice on to cook while I fed Laine her dinner and gave her a bath. I didn’t know what to make so I kind of winged it and made some stuffed bell peppers, without a recipe. I like to live dangerously. Its in the refrigerator now so that when I get home all I need to do is make the sauce and bake it, I was going to make the sauce last night but I figured if I didn’t have anything to do when I got home I’d make another meal and although it is nice to have an easy dinner halfway prepared for me when I get home my day isn’t complete without chopping vegetables. Whoa, how did this happen? When did I get here, where Ramen isn’t a dinner option? I don’t even have a box of macaroni and cheese in the house, which used to be a side dish for everything I cooked, and hamburger helper, where did that guy go? Man, it’s like I’m grown up or something. Crazy.
I’ve started cooking with onions a lot more recently. I enjoy the flavor it brings to certain dishes but I can’t have chunks of it in my food, so it gets minced up super tiny until its almost soupy before I even start cooking it, so that when it starts browning and getting good and cooked I know it’s all cooked and whatever I have an allergy to gets killed. I also bought garlic for the first time the other day, usually I just use garlic powder or the minced garlic in the jar, but I felt like doing more the other night for my soup and so I bought it and it really makes a difference in the taste. That is a good thing, I’m not good with change of any kind ever but I’m giving it a go, mostly because I figure fresh things have better nutritional value blah blah blah, yeah I’m trying.
Erik called to say he was on his way home around 7:00 and we had a back and forth about whether or not to go to the Whites to give daddy his birthday gift, to meet mom and dad at their house at 9:00 and use their TV for the Dynamo game, to have them meet us at our house and Erik could go to his parents to watch the game (which turned out to be rescheduled for three weeks from today) or for all of us to stay home and we’d swing by their house the next day. Laine got a little needy and made the decision for us so I texted mom to meet us at our house when they were done with their home group which was 8:30, about twenty minutes before Erik got home, so Erik watched Laine and took our Daily Laine pictures for me while I finished my dad’s gift and reheated the stew. Funny, my stuffed peppers were in the fringe ready to bake when Erik got home but I hadn’t started on his dinner yet. Guess I need to work or that whole making things easier on myself thing a little more.
While the stew reheated I sat at Erik’s computer and dated all the photos in my dad’s album, labeling them with which first were which. Dad got there a little before I finished so Erik used him to help hook up something with the TV and distracted him until I was able to get the album and card into a bag. He seemed to like it. You never can tell with homemade presents, people tend to tell you that they like them regardless, but I’m pretty sure he really did like it. Mom didn’t stop by because she needed to go home and take care of the dogs so I didn’t get to see her so I’ll probably swing by their house later today. Seems like forever since I’ve seen her, even though it’s just been since Sunday, but it was good to see dad and hang out him for a little while. I hope his birthday was amazing.
After dad left Erik, Laine and I sat on the couch and took pictures of each other and watched some TV until Laine decided it was time for bed. It was so adorable, she just laid down on Erik’s chest and started putting her self to sleep, she cried a bit but it think it was mostly to let Erik know she was ready to lay down, so he took her upstairs and he said as soon as her head hit the mattress she was out. She didn’t wake up last night. We’ve gotten used to sleeping all night now. She tends to stay down for eleven or twelve hours a night. I’m wondering how long it will last, but I’m enjoying it for now.

Wordless Wednesday

Happy Birthday Daddy

Sugar and Spice

Last night Laine tried chicken for the first time; we had Gerber’s chicken and apples. I’m a fan of Gerber, Laine seems to like their food and there usually aren’t mystery ingredients or things I can’t pronounce on the label, however last night I tried some of the chicken and apples, and it was decent; if it was solid, I’d eat it, but I tasted a lot of cinnamon so I turned the jar to read the ingredients to see what other spices were in there, and the ingredients said chicken, apples and water. That’s it, and that’s a lie. I feel betrayed and frustrated; I hate that feeling especially when I get it from the folks that are feeding my child. And I hate to flip out over this but what if Laine was allergic to cinnamon? I haven’t introduced her to spices yet; onion powder I know is in most meat and veggie baby foods and that’s fine, it says it’s there on the label, but cinnamon is not on that label and I fed it to my kid without trying it first because I was in a hurry so if Laine had a reaction from it there would be more blame on my shoulders than theirs but now I’m terrified that I’ll accidentally give Laine something that she reacts to and I won’t know what it is because it wasn’t on the label which brings along with it the fear of giving it to her again. So needless to say I tossed the jar and gave her some rice cereal to fill her up and prayed with fingers and toes crossed that she didn’t have a reaction to whatever it was that was in there. She didn’t by the way, and that’s great and a huge relief, but now that’s not the point. The point is that I fed my girl something that could have hurt her because I didn’t know it was in her food. It would be different if she was older, but she’s just a baby and allergic reactions are serious business. UPDATE: I'm apparently being worried over nothing.
Silly me.

Weekend Update

This past weekend was right on the line between eventful and peaceful. Friday was a nice night to start with, Erik and I got down on the floor with Laine for an hour or two of tickling and crawling around on each other. I decided that an easy dinner would be nice so that I could play more so we just defrosted the soup I made last week; it tasted even better the second time around. Erik’s old friend came over again, this time he brought beer and he and Erik sat on the couch for upwards of three hours playing Street Fighter and just generally making a ruckus. I snapped at his friend when they woke Laine up and sat the baby monitor in front of their beer bottles, saying if it lights up there will be trouble. It didn’t light up and I was able to go to sleep soon after. Erik just gets a little carried away, but I understand, it’s been a long time since he’s gone out and cut loose so when he gets the chance to unwind at home I try to give him space and understanding but I just wish he’d start a little earlier than 7:00 so that Laine wouldn’t be disturbed by it. Either way you look at it though, Erik had a nice night with his friend doing guy stuff that I just don’t get so I’m glad that Friday night happened for him.
Saturday we got busy. We woke up a little late, close to 8:00, and had our weekend roll around in bed time, the camera was charging so no pictures of the remarkable cuteness of morning Laine faces. Finally we got out of bed around 9 and I went and made eggs and biscuits for me and Erik, Laine got some banana orange medley which gave her three dirty diapers in about an hour so I’m thinking orange may be a bad thing for her. We kept her on rice cereal the rest of the day and she’s back to normal now. My poor little girl and her sensitive tummy of doom, so sad. I’m hoping that all these sensitivities are just for now and the she grows out of them eventually, I’d hate for her to miss out on some delightfully yummy foods later in life because of it.
Ten thirty came quickly and it was time for Josh’s soccer game. He’s such a fantastically active little man, but I think he’s more interested in wearing the uniform than he is playing the game. He does look super cute in that green though so I can’t blame him.
During the game Laine played for a while on a blanket, we gave her a soccer ball to roll around with but once she found that it was entirely too difficult to chew on a ball that size she gave up on it and went for dad’s keys. Jacob was there too riding around on his scooter, he came over and commented on the fact that Laine’s hair just keeps growing and that in his opinion she had far too much hair for a small baby head. We tried to get a good photo of all the kids together but it’s something we’ll have to try for again later, with a 6 year old a 3 year old and an 8 month old, just getting one of them to sit still long enough for a picture is a feat in itself, much less getting all three to do so.
After the game Erik and I headed over to Fry’s to pick up a wall mount for our TV and as we walked through the store I was giving Laine small pieces of ice from my Sonic cup. She LOVES ice, she’s an ice junkie now, and she’s so good about letting it sit in her mouth until it dissolved completely, I never had to freak out over her swallowing a large piece; mostly because I didn’t giver her any large pieces but still, she did good. While we were at Fry’s mom and dad called and invited us to lunch. (La Casita is one of those places that brings memories and just like Bruce Springsteen, they all involve my dad.) While we ate my dad held onto Laine and gave her spoon after spoon, dipped in ice water so they were all so wonderfully cold on her gums, she’d get excited and toss them on the ground, by the end of lunch she had a collection of spoons around her.
At the end of lunch mom and dad had some errands to run so Erik and I headed back to the house for the few hours we had left before FamJam at Life Point Church at 6:30. Laine and I went upstairs for a nap which Laine got to finish but Erik woke me up ten minutes in to help him with his project downstairs. Erik wanted to put the TV above the fireplace so that we wouldn’t have the fear of Laine pulling it off the stand anymore, and I thought it was a wonderful idea; it also got Erik to want to mount the mantle to the fireplace, so now our living room has officially been baby proofed. GO DAD!
We got to the church late, of course, like we always do but Laine had the nursery all to herself and Nana and Aunt Andrea were watching her so it was nice that they got that time together. At one point during the night Jacob came and sat next to me and Erik, he sat half on my seat and half on his and leaned all his body weight on my leg, it was like a little boys way of cuddling without cuddling, it blew me away and I sat frozen with my hand on his back until he started swaying from side to side so I started rubbing my hand back and forth and so he stopped swaying and we sat like that for about eight minutes, until he jumped off the seat onto the floor and crawled under some chairs to go sit with the other kids in the front row. Yeah, I cried, it’s whatever.
We got home around 8:00 and put Laine down for bed soon after. Erik and I stayed up for maybe an hour watching a recording of Criminal Minds before I went up to sleep, Erik stayed up until around 1:30 doing whatever it is he does at night, and Laine woke up right at 2:00. From 2 until 3:30 Laine wanted to talk and talk and talk and then eat and then sleep so that’s what she did, and I talked back and fed her and rocked her and when she went down so did I until she got up again around 4:15 and it wasn’t until 5:30 that I finally got Erik up to take his turn, which if you’ve read about our nights with Laine before you’d know, he only has to look at her sideways and she conks out. Those dad powers are something that needs to be bottled and sold, we could make millions. I don’t know why I don’t wake him up sooner, I guess I feel like it’s my job or something, I know it’s stupid, it’s our job as partners together to do this parenting thing but there is something about that mommy gene that won’t allow you to let anyone else do your “job”.
So Sunday morning came late for me too, 9:00 and I find Erik is already up with Laine, he gave her some cereal and was in the middle of her bath when I finally got down stairs. He had himself and her dressed and ready to go and it was probably the first time Erik has been ready to go someplace before me. It was so nice to not have to rush them out the door. And as it turns out, we were not late to church this Sunday. We even got to the nursery check in before they closed the check in table. That was more amazing than you know. But that amazingness was short lived, I forgot Laine’s bottle on the coffee bar, at home, so I got pulled out of church to go and handle her melt down. She wasn’t hungry she just needed the comfort of the bottle since neither me nor Erik were there so after I got her calmed down the nursery lady whose name I can never remember took Laine and did an amazing job of keeping me out of Laine’s eye line until I was down the hall and back in the service where Darren was talking about debt and how to get out of it and ways to live simply and man, of all the sermons he’s done that’s the one I wanted to hear. I’ll never forget her bottle at home again.
After church we went to lunch with mom and dad and some friends and I had to run into Randall's to get some emergency baby supplies and let me tell you right now, for the mom in a hurry on a budget Randall’s is not the place to go. I mean really. It’s not. Their store brands are not any cheaper than the major brands, they have a limited supply of formula choices and there was only two choices for bottles either the glass bottles for $16.99 or the plastic ones for $8.99. Where are my 4 for $3 bottles? I was missing HEB something awful.
Lunch went well, Laine ate her $1.24 jar of organic garden vegetables and brown rice and had a bottle of Similac Soy formula and was a happy happy baby for the course of the entire meal. Mommy was slightly less happy having spent almost $30 on stuff that should have only cost $15. Mommy will never forget a bottle at home again.
After lunch, we went home to do a quick wardrobe change into something more suitable for the rain, Erik and I had tickets to the Dynamo game and we really wanted to get there early because they were handing out free scarves. I’ve wanted a Dynamo scarf for a long time now and getting one for free is amazing, but one thing happened and then another and then another and we didn’t get to the game early we got there ten minutes late; at least our seats hadn’t been stolen by vultures this time. However as we parked the car the rain let up, so that was nice and then the sun cam out when we got to our seats and that was nice, but then the sun started burning away all he rain making a think fog of humidity and on top of getting sunburned I could hardly breath, the game was enjoyable I just wish I’d brought an umbrella. The sun stayed out for the 90 minute game, almost exactly from start to finish and then started raining again right after, I’m crispy fried today. I haven’t shaved my legs in three days and I couldn’t shave this morning because of the burn and I didn’t even think about it this morning but I put on jeans, now every step I take is sunburned leg hair rubbing on rough jeans and I want to scream so bad it’s horrible.
We went and got Laine from my mom’s house after the game, I laid down on the floor for a while trying to stop the hurt from hurting and I failed so Erik and I got packed up and out we went to hunt down a Halloween outfit worthy of the cuteness of the Laine. We only had to go to two places before we found a super cute monkey outfit that looks similar to the Lain anime outfit so Erik was WAY happy. Dinner afterwards was Freebirds so mommy was WAY happy too. I could drink their mild sauce like water and I’m sure life could be sustained on that sauce alone. If there is a zombie apocalypse I know where I’m going anyway.
The only chores to do once we got home were dishes and vacuuming which was way easier than usual since Erik had Laine entertained for me. The vacuum made Laine uncomfortable at first but she was more interested in where the noise was coming from and the fact that mom was making it move than she was scared. Erik got Polly out for her to play with and that made everything better. Polly’s hair tastes amazing apparently. Laine will wrap the yarn of her hair around her thumb and then suck her thumb; it’s like flavor for her self soothing methods, like flavored creamer in mommy’s coffee, I get it.
Finally the weekend was over. We were home and vegging on the couch and just waiting for bedtime. Erik found Titanic on TV and so starts my new challenge of watching 30 Oscar winning best picture movies (review to come). I forgot how wonderful that movie is, I recommend everyone re-watch that movie, you’ll be pleasantly surprised on how much you enjoy it.
After the movie it was on to bed, before midnight. Laine slept all night last night, she didn’t even talk in her sleep. I overslept and got into work later than I’d like but overall our weekend was wonderful and it is a great way to start my week.

Words That Move Me

Here are some more things I’ve been thinking about. Why some of my favorite stories became my favorites to begin with. Children’s stories are what they are. Robin Hood and Romeo and Juliet, beginning to end I love these stories but I hate being a cliché and I need an excuse for myself, I need to understand why, with all the books I’ve read and all the movies I’ve seen, why are these my favorite and I’ve come up with two quotes, one from each that moved me and still move me; my favorite quotes of all time are these two quotes. Now I’m okay with these being my favorite stories.
Disney’s Robin Hood, Rooster: We’d up and fly if we had wings for flying
Sometimes I think about folks in bad situations and why they are there; like wives with abusive husbands and homeless people on the corner. I assume they would not be in that position if they had the choice; the lame part is that there is no choice for some people. Just like there is no option for me to move into a million dollar home tomorrow. You can’t live outside your station in life. Disney’s Robin Hood taught me that. Oh, I can dream big and strive to meet all goals in life and sometimes I’ll make it there but with each step that I climb there is still a ceiling covering my head, saying “No, you can only go so far” , until you take the next step and then there’s a new ceiling saying it again. Some people quit taking steps and that’s how you get stuck. Whenever I think I’m having a hard time of things, I complain and I cry and whine like everyone else, I sit on that step and I refuse to move, but I have to tell myself to remember I do have wings to help me up to the next step, they are called Mom and Dad and Erik and Laine and Colleen. They are my Robin Hood.
Shakespeare: I talk of dreams, which are the children of an idle brain, begot of nothing but vain fantasy. Which is as thin a substance as the air and more inconstant than the wind.
Ah, Romeo and Juliet, my first romance. I never could come to grips with the fact that they killed themselves; sometimes I want to rip out all the pages concerning Father Lawrence; if he’s not there to interfere we could have a much different ending. I think that's one of the reasons I read so many romance novels now is to make up for that poor ending. Though no other story has ever moved me in the same way and that is partly due to the distance these lovers were willing to go to be together. But I never forgot that these two were only thirteen-ish, and I believe that the character of Mercutio never forgot that either. I bonded with Mercutio. I love the man dearly for his ways and his attitude. He’s a bitter cynical man who thinks of love as a physical thing and he makes fun of Romeo for being burdened by it. He mocks Romeo for his belief in dreams and premonitions of bad things to come. He tells dirty jokes and insists that Romeo dance; that it’ll make him feel better to get out, go to a party and get rowdy. I wanted to be Mercutio, the one that gets you out and gets you happy, the one that will take your fears and turn them into nothing. Romeo dreams of bad things happening to him if he goes to this party and Mercutio tells him it was just Queen Mab, a miniature creature that drives her chariot across the faces of sleeping people and compels them to experience dreams of wish-fulfillment. When Romeo tries to calm Mercutio from his manic speech, telling him peace, you speak of nothing, Mercutio says EXACTLY! Nothing is what dreams are, children of an idle brain, vain fantasy. It’s been years since a dream has bothered me, nightmares aren’t an issue for me ever. Because Mercutio said that dreams are nothing. And I believed him.

Takes Me Back

There are songs that remind me of a specific time in my life or of a specific person. Songs that really take me back. I mean I could write a script and film a movie about these memories and whoever lived through those moments with me would say “Dang Amanda, that’s right on”. Like my mom would know what I was talking about if I brought up Time in a Bottle or Beat It. She’d have memories of me in one of her old robes twirling around and around, dancing for hours to those songs in the living room of our house in Alaska. And my brother, if I asked him what he thought if I hummed a couple bars of Can’t Touch This or Ice Ice Baby, it would have something to do about the summer before his third grade year in our house in Laredo, they are the same memories I have about any songs by the New Kids on the Block; bulldozers and wheelbarrows full of dirt from getting a pool built in our back yard, sitting in the living room eating avocados with our old baby spoons and watching Hey Dude after school.
Bruce Springsteen’s album Born in the USA reminds me of my dad, more specifically it reminds me of waiting for my dad to get done mowing the yard, or waiting for him to come home from work, or waiting on him to get off the phone; just waiting on my dad in general. Bruce sings Cover Me and I have visions of lying down on the dining room floor on the cool tile and puling legs off of a daddy long leg, because dad is in the back yard cutting down banana trees and mom didn’t want us to hear him swearing at the trees. He sings Glory Days and I am opening and closing the glass door on the stereo over and over again, pushing the door in and out trying to make the door close without the magnet making any noise. Or My Hometown and I’m sitting at the bar in the kitchen swinging my feet, watching mom do the dishes and Levi play with his toy cars, and all of us waiting on dad to walk through the door smelling like oil and gas. Most all of my memories that I have around Bruce Springsteen I’m with anyone but my dad, but they make me think of my dad, I’ll never hear a Springsteen song without thinking of my dad and for that reason I’ll always love Bruce Springsteen.
Perfect Day is me and Erik’s song. So of course it would make me think of my husband but it’s not just because it’s our song that I think of Erik when I hear it, because I don’t think of our wedding day or our engagement or anything so typical as that. I think of the day that Erik came home with a CD and he had me sit in the car with him as he played me this song, by a man whose voice sounded as if evil fairies were rubbing sandpaper of an elephants behind making it stomp on top of a gaggle of geese making them scream and making my ears bleed, but I ignored Lou Reed’s raspiness and I listened to the words that Erik wanted me to hear, and when the song was over his eyes were so bright and he told me “This is our song.” So matter of fact, so decided. He told me this was our song. And that’s probably the most romantic thing he’s ever done.

I think of my mom when I hear Lean On Me. I think of weekends that she would let me spend hours at the library in Lafayette, though I’m sure she had things she wanted to do she always s took me there whenever I wanted to go. I also think of my mom when I hear I Just Called To Say I Love You and I think of her when I hear Don’t Worry Be Happy. Those songs were playing on the radio a lot when we lived in Laredo, and we’d sing along. I think I get my affinity for singing loudly with the windows down from her. Anything by Elvis makes me think of mom and so do church hymns, and Bob Marley, ever since I found out that she’s got one of his songs on her iPod.

Still Remains makes me think of Chad and high school and tiny neighborhood pizza parlors.

Is Your Love Strong Enough makes me think of Lucas and all the medications he had to take just to be able to walk but how he never lost his joy.

I think of Paw Paw when I hear Hey Good Lookin’. I remember him singing to me randomly when we'd bump in the hall, or how he'd want to hold my hand if I were close enough for him to do it, and he'd never leave the house without a kiss. Never.
The song The Bluest Eyes in Texas brings me memories of driving out to dad’s work in Laredo, watching the desert sky speed past with Levi lying on the seat holding my hand.

I love that song.